LOL @ PF!!! We say to the kids...

"Were you born in a barn?"

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket!

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

So dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions written on the bottom.

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~~lost in you~~

That boy has got a kink in his slinky

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~~lost in you~~

lmao...i keep thinkin of more like...he's dumber than a two dollar box o' rocks

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~~lost in you~~

Thas as thick as pig shit!

It wo funny as fuck!

Gerrint piss oil.

A trio of fine Yorkshire phrases with an attempt at writing the Yorkshire dialect.

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What is life?
If not an excuse for death,
and what is death,
if not an escape from life?

Finer than frogs hair, split three ways...lol

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

Ugly as the North end of a South bound cow.

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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to slide in broadside , thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --WOW-- What a Ride!

LOL I always heard the variation, "I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brains were on fire!"

I once said to my boss of a co-worker, (the company idiot) "he couldn't find his ass with both hands & a road map"

wife (the country girl) says, "as full of shit as a Christmas turkey"

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

"He's about a half bubble off level"

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

couple normal ones

not the sharpest tool in the shed

few bricks shy of a load.


And the most common one around our shop area here is a classic.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

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Fantasy is only as as fake as your body wants it to be.

Work is a four-letter word.

I'm so hungry, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut...lol

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

TinTennessee

I have been known to say of a certain ex-Boss,

I would piss on him if he was on fire, just not enough to put him out.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

rainin like a cow pissin on a flat rock
(heavy rain) come a toad strangler
so narrow minded you could look through a keyhole with both eyes

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The mind never forgets what the hands have learned