__________________

I believe I'd have the right like I said if it was a "family" function. But as far as their personal life, NO.
I can't imagine dad not being man enough to tell her if he didn't like it.*shrug*

__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

Here's my :cents:...

What happens between your mom-in-law, dad-in-law, and this guy is there own business....behind closed doors. When it starts making its way into public and family functions, well that's a different story.

If this guy is making an ass of himself, and feeling up mom in front of everyone (especially the kids!) then yes you and the rest of the family have every right to speak up. It's not only disrespectful to your father in law, but to everyone else. What kind of message are they sending to the kids that are around? That it's ok to treat women like that? Bullshit.

Granted it should be your father in laws place to say something, but for whatever reason he feels as though he shouldn't. I don't see anything wrong with the rest of the family saying for him though. Get the rest of the fam to back you up and then get on this guy.

pops in law and I have not talked about this, but I have a feeling that the reason he doesn't speak up is that he is afraid my mother in law will leave him. He worships her beyond all reason...obviously.

As far as getting in Don's face, BELIEVE ME everyone wants to, but no one really feels like it's their place to.

When I decide for aure on a course of action I'll let you know, and keep you posted, but right now I'm still feeling everyone out.

Thanks for your help so far everyone.

I'd tell your MIL privately how Don's presence at family functions and mannerisms bother you. One-on-one...and I'd stick to how it makes YOU feel. Leave mention of anyone else out (including your husband, FIL, and any other siblings) ~~ after all, you are really only qualified to speak for yourself.

I wouldn't ask for immediate remedy, I'd just let her know how uncomfortable you feel, and that if it keeps up you may not attend many family functions. Let her make her own decisions.

Above all else, I'd avoid being accusing. Talk about how YOU feel, not about how wrong she is...or anyone else.

My 2C

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

All good avice so far...but I'm worried about something you said that hasn't been touched on. Is there a child who might be in harms way of your suspicion of Don being a pedophile? What gave you cause to think this? If that's too personal to answer here...at least answer it for yourself. I'm of the notion...where there is smoke, there is usually/eventually fire. Even if you can't comfront you MIL or FIL with everything else that is going on...you simply can't ignore it if Don does demonstrate acts of pedophilia. This is something you must make your concern...no matter who gets pissed off at you for butting in! Better safe than sorry. You say this is something you'd rather not know about...but sweety...this is something you CANNOT ignore! Keep close tabs on this bozo and don't turn the other cheek if your suspicion gets so strong that it upsets you. It is your duty as an adult to protect the children that may come to harm from this guy, or any other pedophile, out there!

My thoughts are with you!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

[~With the information as stated~]

As far as the effect of this creeps’ disrespectful presents goes, my FIRST thought is that it would fall to your husband (and any other adult siblings), AFTER uniform resolve, to state it DIRECTLY (and preferable separately) to the offender. It sounds as if the MIL/FIL relationship has all the complexity it needs without parent/child factors. While MIL will be fully aware, it may help apply the pressure directly to Don instead of making her the fulcrum point.

Without doubt, Lixys’ concern is the strongest reason for you to confront anyone in this situation.

This IS the place where you have EVERY right (and responsibility for that matter) to become involved. The resolve of this issue, both has rank AND may answer your more personal concern.


:cents:

__________________