But sometimes milktoast I wonder if we don't require TOO much from each other....

sometimes people NEED to be able to be silly, sexual or flirt with other people.

I just don't think everyone has or MUST have the same needs/wants...and we all need to recognize that and love our partners just the same. After all, they ARE with us.

I think it's probably a personality difference...

I also don't know enough about Jen to say whether she's a prude or not so no, I wasn't meaning her.

And please, there isn't anything WRONG with being modest *another word for prude* but I still think people are individuals in how they feel about this sort of thing and I wouldn't try to change how my husband feels about this stuff nor will I change how I feel about it. We need to allow each other to be WHO we are...which more often than not makes it worth hanging in there.

Nutworld loves his wife...that is a fact.

If she's reading, Jen, Marian, my SO, knows and has no problems with me and Pixies.

I've been a talker and a flirt all the 25 years she's known me, and will be till

I die.

It's impossible to have an effective affair by PM, limited to 1000

characters and a 45 minute turn-around time.

Messenger audio messages, actual phone calls and meetings can.

The nasty imp on my shoulder has asked whether this is a territory matter

or if you really fear loss to a more desirable Pixie.

Trust is hard if you've let this much space impose itself between you.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Like Oldfart, I also have been flirting since goodness knows when.
All my partners are aware of this and my enjoyment of erotica.
I am open and honest about that fact.

I chat with women and men online, I exchange erotic and saucy stories,
look at images and occasionally delve into the realm of cybersex.
I have a number of private groups and I enjoy doing what I do.

Among my closest friends, I count 4 ladies, an ex wife and my current partner.
Does she mind me chatting to other women? Who benefits? I do but more importantly,
my partner does as well. It helps to open new areas for discovery for us both.

Is it cheating, well I guess cybersex could be, but then as a previous post mentioned,
does looking at porn and privately masterbating fall into 'cheating'?
I guess the only way, is to be open and honest, to care and think of your partners feeling.

That said, I still believe that we all have the right to keep somethings private,
not share them. Do you tell your partner every time you look at a man or
a woman and get a tingling felling between your thighs or that you have
fantasies about makeing love to someone else? Is that's not cheating?
No its the buffer zone between total submission
and retaining your individuality.

If you take 'cybersex' to another level, ie, meeting in person,
and then acting out your fantasies, without your partner knowing,
then yes that's cheating.

I do hope that you both are able to resolve this and both share
in the joys that such a site as this can bring to a relationship.

Just my thoughts even though it's probably been said earlier.

__________________
'Our bodied entwined with sweat and heat
you moved with me like a single heart beat'

I have re written most of the following titles and have a few new, yet to be posted, ones.

Drop me a line if your interested in a copy.

Personals - Skinny Dipping - Business Trip - The School Girl - The Dream - Lovers - The Book Salesman - Coach Trip - French Maid - The Woods - Office Meeting - Airport - Welcome Home - Massage - Sprung - Erotic Poetry - No Begining No End - Text Messages -

erotic51

Goodness!
I had a very crowded weekend, and look what happened while I was away!
I love this place. I have never had any place that was like this before. So many wonderful, thoughtful, HORNY people!
Reading this thread, I am overcome mostly by how thoughtful, understanding, and WELL reasoned the responses are.
My two pennies:
I am VERY sexually active in my private life, AND in here. The PM's I have received have been mostly of the "Hi how are you?" kind, and a few that elaborated on posts.
All have been kind, and thoughtful, but none have been for erotic purposes.
The nastier issue is cybering a form of cheating?
Is reading the posts and erotic stories here cheating?
I have spent a lot of time thinking this over, not wanting to be the "other woman" even in cyberspace.
Right or wrong, I have decided that chatting with men and women here is not the same as sleeping with them in Real Life.
In my day to day life, I DON'T knowingly sleep with married people who are cheating on their spouses.
PERIOD.
I love sex. I love everything about it. The way a man or woman feels when I touch them, or they touch me, or when we kiss the way they taste, the way my partner tasyes during oral sex, the way a man feels inside me, or a woman who is making me cum with her fingers or tongue, or the sensation and taste of flood of hot cum in my mouth, and over my breasts.
I also love to talk about it, and to share my thoughts, feelings and experiences here with others who don't judge me because I have what some think is a promiscuous lifestyle.
And some people find these conversations erotic, and maybe orgasm while reading them or chatting with me.
Good!
The problems in your marriage are not about the computer.
At worse, his time spent flirting and maybe cybering on the computer is a symptom of other, more complex things. I don't even think his coming here is about sex, really.
I hope you two can restore your marriage.


Hopefully, ( and better late than not at all)


WW

__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

I've held off adding my comments to this thread, mostly because others, especially the last 4 posters, have said what I feel as well or better than I can say... Wanda said it well, sites like this are seldom the problem with a couple, but often a symptom of bigger things wrong... great as Pixie's is, it's a poor substitute for the real love I share with the LOML, & if she's sending me an invite to bed, Pixie's can wait But it is a wonderful suppliment to my sex life, & I have truly learned some great things from all who share here... guess I'm just wishing it wouldn't come down to Nut having to choose one or the other, but since it did, he has made the right choice, & I would expect nothing less from him... he has always seemed to me to be the perfect gentleman, & I'm proud & glad to have made his aquaintance...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I had no intentions of returning to this site after my last post, but curiosity got the better of me and now I feel compelled to respond.

I am really amazed by the number of responses and debate that a thread posted by an outsider has generated here.

I seem to be in the minority on my views of what constitutes cheating, but there are a number of resopnses which bring up the point that it is ultimately up to the individual and their SO to be open and honest and respectful of each other. This is where my problem lies.

To those of you who think PM's are innocent flirtation, I don't agree. When the message is something like: "Mmmmm, Thanks for the orgasm." And I'm told this was a response to e-mail exchange, I don't consider that innocent.

Oldfart - This isn't about control, it's about violation of trust.

At this time I would like to ask all of you pixies for a favor. Can you please let this thread end here while I still have a little bit of my dignity left. If some of you feel like you want to discuss the topic further among yourselves, could you please start a new thread? I would consider it an honor if you would let me have the last word on the thread that I started.

Thanks for your help.
Jen