Here's your chance to prove how you could have made it in Nashville. Create a short "country song" and share it with us ...

For example ...

I MET HER AT THE DOOR

I met her at a rest stop bathroom door;
You could see her camel toe, in the pants that she did wore;
But when she said it'd only cost me but a dollar,
I figured I'd say, "Goodbye for ever more."

I probably will remember her forever;
Although our first encounter proved to be for never;
She was the only offer I had that night in Georgia;
I just probably needed one a wee bit fresher.

Oh, how about ...

Ellie Mae

I sure thought a lot of Ellie Mae,
She was a special lady in the golden hay,
I wanted her to melt right in my arms,
As I poked away into her little charms.

She always had the fellers there a'waitin',
In lines that never seemed to be abatin',
But I knew that I was special in her eyes,
With me she opened them there once or twice.

You are soooooo hilarious!!

__________________
I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

JACK D

I was lookin' in the cupboard for my bottle of ol' Jack-D,
Back behind the plasty dishes, where I knew it oughter be,
But when I couldn't find it there, I called for my ol' lady,
But she just couldn't answer, she was so darn tipsy.

Honey, ya knows I love ya, that you are my cute Sweet Pea,
I's picked you over Suzie and good ol' Mary Leigh,
But if you ever touch my bottle of good ol' Jackie-D,
There'll be one less lady here, and you knows who that'll be.

A lotsa things I pardon, a good guy I can be,
But my bottle of Jack Daniels, is where the line she be,
Don't ever reach behind the plates, or take a sip you see,
That'll end it all for you then, cuz' I'll keep my ol' Jack-D.

There's a rumor going round in town
I just can't believe my ears
The story is one so sad
It brings my eyes to tears

It seems that ole man Henson
Has lost his love so true
She finally died a quite death
Up on highway twenty two

They were just heading back from the Rodeo Bar
After a time of fun and cheer
When all of a sudden a deer ran out
It made ole Henny drop his beer......

As tried to retrieve the brew
His eyes did dart away
His truck began to swerve and cross the gravel road.....

It came to rest against a fence
Steaming up the night
Old man Henson knew right then
His love had lost her life.

Oh where would he ever again find a love so true
What would he do to get into town
To have himself a few
A truck that dies is a pitiful sight
Just ask any man
It's like a part of you dies too
Not something you want to do

So the moral of this tale of woe
Can easily be told
Don't ever let go of a beer
When out upon the road........

I can't.

My girl still loves me, my dog died and somebody stole my pick-up truck.













:grin:

__________________

Good grief...I don't even remember writing this! LMAO

HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

I was sittin’ by the fire,
And tears ran down my face,
My little lady left me,
I think ... her name was Grace.

I didn’t know what to do then,
I’d trusted her so far,
I’d already slipped my pants down,
And my cock was standin’ thar.

How’d I know she be so cruel,
And leave me in such a fix,
When all I said was, “I love you,”
But ended it with ....








“Trix.”

* BUMP *

My Beer's Gone Soggy

It was Saturday night in Taos.
I was at the local pub.
The beer was in a frosted mug.
Popcorn was the grub.

I kept looking at the head of foam,
Watching the bubbles form.
But my mind was on o' Jenny Lou,
She'd left me for Billy Shorn.

I felt angry and betrayed by her.
Another bubble popped.
I'd had so many brews already,
I knew I had to stop.

I turned around and up to leave,
When who passed through the door.
Twas Jenny Lou and Billy ...
I felt so very sore.

I turned back around and sat again,
My feeling churned inside,
I decided on drinking that last beer,
And let emotions in me subside.

I reached for the glass and took a sip,
But one was all I had,
My beer tasted stale and soggy,
Or maybe I'm just mad.

But the story ended happy,
And no trouble did I have,
When Susie May sat down by me,
And she began to say, ...

"I've been watchin' you all evening,
And you've been looking down and low,
And I thought that maybe we could change that,
In the evening's silent glow!"

We got up from the bar,
And she took me by the hand,
And we walked outside to watch the sun,
Settle in the west beyond the sand.

The night went fast that evening,
And we had a super time,
The air softly carressed us,
We spoke in loving rhymes.

So much so that the soggy beer,
No longer mattered much.
We're married now in Waco,
We got a house and kids and such.

And with that this little song,
Will gradually wind down.
A song with a happy ending,
Ain't yer' normal country sound.

But I suppose that in ever genre'
There's an exception now and then,
So we'll call this song now finished,
With it's very happy end.

We've had Witchita Linemen,
And rodeo super stars,
And sweet and pretty ladies,
There in soft, dim lit bars,

But have you ever heard the country song about
The sewer rat in Texas in a town called Cut and Shoot.
A tale that smells to heaven,
And drips with gook from off his boot.

He was working late that evening,
The Texas sky still glowed,
There were problems in the main line
And it was his turn to go.

Took a bit, but soon he finished,
And climbed the ladder to the surface.
That's when he saw Pruddy Trueblood,
She was a vision of loveliness.

She saw his eye upon her
Watching as he stood then on the street,
And he saw her moist red lips move,
And her voice so soft and sweet ...

"I saw you reach the surface,
I saw you then climb out,
You might have even tempted me,
'Cept for the crappy smell about ...

And the ooze your boot is dripping,
Does nothing for your charms,
So I guess I'll turn and leave you
Like I'd pass a hog filled farm."

I cried a soft tear of sorrow,
Cuz' she really was a piece,
But she was right about the smell and crap,
Even I could hardly breath.

"Oh well," I thought,
It wasn't meant to be.
I'll shower soon and walk on down,
To the bar at Fifth and Lee.

There'll I'll find a new love,
I'd guess now, Mary Sue,
We'll have some tasty tidbits,
And drink some potent brew.

Then we'll retire to the local inn,
And make a night of it,
And another little mess we'll make.
But this one we'll enjoy a bit.

And when I see Miss Pruddy Trueblood,
I'll tip my hat and say,
"Sorry that ya' left me,
But it was surely most okay.

That night was very good to me,
Had company to share,
And we had a jolly time that night,
Me and my lady fair."

How can I say good bye, dear,
When you won’t even go?
How can I wish you well, dear,
When I’m not even in the show?

How can I still continue,
To live this life I live,
When I keep asking for your love,
A love that you won’t give?

How can we build a future,
When today you won’t stay here?
How can I still continue,
Without another beer?

Say, this beer, it ain’t too bad, dear,
And to me it’s been so true,
My stomach’s feelin’ fuller,
And my skin ain’t turnin’ blue.

My sadness’ all but left me,
And I’m feelin’ good again,
To heck with you my dear, dear,
I’m goin’ back to sin.

* BUMP *

THE LONE RANGER

Ridin’ with the Ranger,
I learned to keep my place.
Ya’ never want to argue,
When he’s got a mask across his face.

He rode a pure white stallion,
While a pinto was my horse,
His clothes were always clean and pressed,
While my loincloth felt awfully coarse.

I’m really not complaining,
Revenge is using Kemo Sabe as his name
In my language it means Horse’s Ass,
Isn’t that (hee hee) a shame.