Ohhhhh to see the look on their faces as they use this!!!

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*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I almost put this off until tomorrow

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Yesterday scientists announced to the world the
alarming results of a recent analysis that found the
presence of female hormones in beer. This comes as
a cruel blow to all men. It is advised that if you
are male between the ages of 18 and 85 you may need to
seek medical assistance to assess your beer
consumption.

WARNING: Drinking beer eventually turns men into women.

THE TEST: 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each
within a 1 hour period

THE RESULT: 100% of the men:

1. Gained weight
2. Talked excessively without making sense
3. Became overly emotional
4. Couldn't drive
5. Failed to think rationally
6. Argued over nothing
7. Had to sit down while urinating
8. Refused to apologize when wrong

NOTE: No further testing is planned.

__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

True.

Also, Police are issuing warnings to men on this topic.

There is a drug around called "beer", generally found in a
liquid form.

The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at
parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them.
Shockingly, this drug is freely available in most cities!

Apparently, girls are persuading men to consume a few units
of "beer" and then asking them home for no-strings-attached
sex.

Men are literally helpless against the subtlety of these attacks.
After several "beers" men are persuaded to have sex with
women they would never normally be attracted to.

The aftermath is devastating, with men awakening with hazy
or no memories of the assault, just a vague uneasiness.

Please forward this to every man you know!

There are support groups for victims of this insidious drug,
where the trauma of the assaults can be eased through
group counselling sessions. These clinics are normally found
in the telephone directory under "Bar" or "Tavern".

Posted as a community service announcement.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

the seventh took the photo's

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Fred Oh fred

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I think a few ladies here, including myself would have to agree!!!!

I hate one size fits all things!!!!!

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_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

This thread is getting so long don't know if this one was posted or not...LOL...sorry if it was!!


The Perfect entertainment center for men!

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__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Diva

Marian won't buy me one for Xmas.

Advice?

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

A "Gag of the day" from an e-mail.


A woman and a man were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered


"Think about this," she continued, "when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better — your ear or your finger?"

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Can you make me purr??

For the THONG LOVERS HERE!!!!

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_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I used to dream of being Tarzan, Lord Greystoke and all the cool powers he possessed. Not anymore!

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" Each day through my window, I watch her as she passes by, I say to myself, you're such a lucky guy. To have a girl like her, is truly a dream come true. Out of all the fellas in the world, she belongs to me. ..
...This couldn't be a dream, for too real it all seems...

But it was just my imagination, runnin away with me, it was just my imagination, runnin away with me. "

Smokey Robinson

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la maison."
"Pencil," in French, is masculine-"le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?"

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native languagethey use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The Women Won

__________________
GirlWatcher......;-)
Love Them Little Tits

Pixie's Wildland Fire Fighter
Find'em HOT and Leave'em WET!

Diva Thought you might like this one..........


1. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

2. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there.

3. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.

4. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

5. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

6. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

7. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

8. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.


9. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

10. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

11. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

12. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

13. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

14. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.


Sadly, all men are created equal.

__________________
GirlWatcher......;-)
Love Them Little Tits

Pixie's Wildland Fire Fighter
Find'em HOT and Leave'em WET!

Don't you????

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__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."