awww DB that^^^ is soo sad

That's part of some country music, isn't it. There really was a country song called ...

"The Bridge Washed Out And I Can't Swim And My Baby's On The Other Side"

How's that for a tear jerker.

"There's a tear in my beer, and I am cryin' for ya Dear....."

When they stuck me on the bronco, I felt this awful dread,
I wish I hadn’t drank that beer, it went right to my head.
Now I’m stuck a sittin, on this huge ol’ snortin’ beast,
And I’m wish I were at home right now, havin’ me a piece.

That horse is really shakin’, I can tell it’s awfully sore,
It’s ignoring all my pleading, and the fears I‘m showing forth..
The gate is almost open, my life is flashing by my eyes,
I know that two quick bucks, and I’m probably gonna die.

Someone get some tender oats, or some hay that it can have,
Or at least for my sore bottom, some soft and gentle salve?
In any case, keep prayin’, and remember what you saw,
It wasn’t fun and playing when you heard me yell, “HOO HAW!”

I went tripping thu the snow
to the little brown shack out
behind my old coon dog
where I set me down to rest
and read the Sears and Robuck catalog.

__________________
The mind never forgets what the hands have learned

Have you noticed how love can, in a circle come around,
That seems so really interesting, one might even say, "Profound."

Like, I love to say, "Hello," when I meet a sweetie pie,
I love to see the look, she has there in her eye.

I love the soft and tender times when our bodies do embrace,
The times we hold each other and I see the longing in her face.

I love the times we roll around, and frolic in the hay,
But there is a time I hate to see, and it's when she starts to say,

"Honey, it's been fun now, but you know how it can be,
I've found another honey, and it's off to him, you see."

It's at the bar my heart breaks, and I drink away my blues,
Until the seat right next to mine, is filled by Maggie Sue.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

I was sittin’ by the fire,
And tears ran down my face,
My little lady left me,
I think ... her name was Grace.

I didn’t know what to do then,
I’d trusted her so far,
I’d already slipped my pants down,
And my cock was standin’ thar.

How’d I know she be so cruel,
And leave me in such a fix,
When all I said was, “I love you,”
But ended it with ....








“Trix.”

* BUMP *

My Beer's Gone Soggy

It was Saturday night in Taos.
I was at the local pub.
The beer was in a frosted mug.
Popcorn was the grub.

I kept looking at the head of foam,
Watching the bubbles form.
But my mind was on o' Jenny Lou,
She'd left me for Billy Shorn.

I felt angry and betrayed by her.
Another bubble popped.
I'd had so many brews already,
I knew I had to stop.

I turned around and up to leave,
When who passed through the door.
Twas Jenny Lou and Billy ...
I felt so very sore.

I turned back around and sat again,
My feeling churned inside,
I decided on drinking that last beer,
And let emotions in me subside.

I reached for the glass and took a sip,
But one was all I had,
My beer tasted stale and soggy,
Or maybe I'm just mad.

But the story ended happy,
And no trouble did I have,
When Susie May sat down by me,
And she began to say, ...

"I've been watchin' you all evening,
And you've been looking down and low,
And I thought that maybe we could change that,
In the evening's silent glow!"

We got up from the bar,
And she took me by the hand,
And we walked outside to watch the sun,
Settle in the west beyond the sand.

The night went fast that evening,
And we had a super time,
The air softly carressed us,
We spoke in loving rhymes.

So much so that the soggy beer,
No longer mattered much.
We're married now in Waco,
We got a house and kids and such.

And with that this little song,
Will gradually wind down.
A song with a happy ending,
Ain't yer' normal country sound.

But I suppose that in ever genre'
There's an exception now and then,
So we'll call this song now finished,
With it's very happy end.

We've had Witchita Linemen,
And rodeo super stars,
And sweet and pretty ladies,
There in soft, dim lit bars,

But have you ever heard the country song about
The sewer rat in Texas in a town called Cut and Shoot.
A tale that smells to heaven,
And drips with gook from off his boot.

He was working late that evening,
The Texas sky still glowed,
There were problems in the main line
And it was his turn to go.

Took a bit, but soon he finished,
And climbed the ladder to the surface.
That's when he saw Pruddy Trueblood,
She was a vision of loveliness.

She saw his eye upon her
Watching as he stood then on the street,
And he saw her moist red lips move,
And her voice so soft and sweet ...

"I saw you reach the surface,
I saw you then climb out,
You might have even tempted me,
'Cept for the crappy smell about ...

And the ooze your boot is dripping,
Does nothing for your charms,
So I guess I'll turn and leave you
Like I'd pass a hog filled farm."

I cried a soft tear of sorrow,
Cuz' she really was a piece,
But she was right about the smell and crap,
Even I could hardly breath.

"Oh well," I thought,
It wasn't meant to be.
I'll shower soon and walk on down,
To the bar at Fifth and Lee.

There'll I'll find a new love,
I'd guess now, Mary Sue,
We'll have some tasty tidbits,
And drink some potent brew.

Then we'll retire to the local inn,
And make a night of it,
And another little mess we'll make.
But this one we'll enjoy a bit.

And when I see Miss Pruddy Trueblood,
I'll tip my hat and say,
"Sorry that ya' left me,
But it was surely most okay.

That night was very good to me,
Had company to share,
And we had a jolly time that night,
Me and my lady fair."

How can I say good bye, dear,
When you won’t even go?
How can I wish you well, dear,
When I’m not even in the show?

How can I still continue,
To live this life I live,
When I keep asking for your love,
A love that you won’t give?

How can we build a future,
When today you won’t stay here?
How can I still continue,
Without another beer?

Say, this beer, it ain’t too bad, dear,
And to me it’s been so true,
My stomach’s feelin’ fuller,
And my skin ain’t turnin’ blue.

My sadness’ all but left me,
And I’m feelin’ good again,
To heck with you my dear, dear,
I’m goin’ back to sin.

* BUMP *

THE LONE RANGER

Ridin’ with the Ranger,
I learned to keep my place.
Ya’ never want to argue,
When he’s got a mask across his face.

He rode a pure white stallion,
While a pinto was my horse,
His clothes were always clean and pressed,
While my loincloth felt awfully coarse.

I’m really not complaining,
Revenge is using Kemo Sabe as his name
In my language it means Horse’s Ass,
Isn’t that (hee hee) a shame.

SLEEPING ON THE DESERT FLOOR

I was sleeping on the desert floor,
With my saddle for my head,
My blanket curled around me,
The sand made me my bed.

I don’t know what made me waken,
From a deep and peaceful sleep,
A clicking sound beside me,
Almost made me leap.

I thought some roamin’ cowboy,
My saddle bags to take,
Was holding a loaded six gun,
So no movement would I make.

Well, I was right about not moving,
But no bullet need I fear,
When I saw that darn ol’ rattler,
I knew my end was near.

But it turned and slithered away from me,
And let me go along my way,
I reckon that the next time
At an inn called “DAYS” I’ll stay.

PECOS

There was moonlight over Pecos,
The night was soft and fair,
And if you looked in at Kitty’s,
At the bar you’d see me there.

I was drowning down my sorrows,
I was quenching my lonesome thirst,
I needed to use the bathroom,
But if I moved, I fear I’ll burst.

No doubt ya’ probably wonder
How in this fix I got,
It was Milly up and left me,
To powder her nose or some such rot.

I told her I would wait here,
Drinking beer til she came back,
But I never thought two days would pass,
And my tab is at its max.

Do ya’ thinks she might have left me,
To find some other bloke?
Some guy who ‘stead of drinkin’
Would give her a little poke.

Doesn’t really matter now,
I think I’m almost through,
My bladder went and did me in,
Now I’m soaked with fragrant dew.

RIO GRANDE

I was swimming in the river,
As bare as I could be,
When some dag nab ol’ coyote,
Took my duds and ran from me.

So now I’m in this river,
Without a thing to wear,
Hoping that some good ol’ soul,
Might come along and share.

I don’t need fancy boots or pants,
Or shirts without a tear,
Just sumpin’ to cover my privates,
So people don’t stop and stare.

I got lucky with my problem,
Cuz’ Jose came by my spot,
He said, “Hey gringo,
Why don’t you just step out?”

I told him ‘bout my missing duds,
That darn coyote went and took,
And I asked if he could loan me sumptin’
I could wear to avoid folks looks.

He said yep, he, had sumptin
And he’d leave it on the bush,
He said it’d cover up above
And even my ol’ tush.

When he left I scrambled from the stream,
And checked what he had left,
Twasn’t shirt or shoes,
Just some ol’ gingham dress.

I had no choice, so I put it on,
Now that was quite a sight,
No boobs to fill the uppers,
And the hips seemed awfully tight.

No matter, I was covered,
So into town I walked,
But I had to be real careful,
Behind me two cowpokes stalked.

I finally reached the general store,
And the owner, he came to see.
“Ain’t got no clothes that I can share,
Less, course, you marry me.”

I was shocked but what was I to do,
I couldn’t fer sure just stay like this,
So that’s when I changed from cowboy,
To simply just plain Miss.

WTH dicksbro

Your quite the wordsmith. I can only write dirty ditties.