I'm the queen of bonehead moments....This is something I'd never admit to anyone offline lol.....I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave (one of the little snack bags) while I was talking on the phone and when I hit the "quick on" button, I pushed 4 instead of 1...I was sitting on the couch just chatting away when I started smelling burnt popcorn, went in the kitchen and the bag was nearly on fire lol

Might I add, the burnt popcorn smell only recently left the microwave I thought I was going to have to buy a new one.

Someone mentioned milk in the freezer instead of the fridge, but I've put lots of things in the freezer that shouldn't be there. I dropped my keys in there once and didn't find them for two days (I had to use my boyfriend's keys)..I've also put the peanut butter instead of the jelly in the fridge (D'oh!)

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It's a BOY!!

About a month ago was cooking and needed spinach. Pulled a box of froozen out of my freezer and put the box on a paper plate and threw it in the mircowave to defrost. After 3 minutes it was still rock hard. So I put it on for 5 more did this 3 or 4 time. Then relized the box was wrapped with a tin foil wrapper.

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it's only kinky the first time

it's not the orgasm but getting there thats fun

a shot in the bush is worth two in the hand

whip me, beat me, tie me up, break my arm, but please don't break my heart

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid people are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" -Bertrand Russell

Something to do with the statute of limitations, no doubt?

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Yesterday morning I needed to rewarm my coffee, so I put the cup on the counter next to the microwave, then turned the microwave on for 40 seconds. When the time was up and it beeped, I picked up my cup off of the counter (still cold of course) and proceeded to drink it. DUHHH...

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~