Something has been on my mind for some time now, and to be honest, it is driving me crazy at times, so I feel I need to put it down... On a cold November night, roaming endlessly through the chat rooms in search of something elusive...I quite by accident encountered someone who caught my eye. After messaging her we began talking and right away I felt drawn to her. She had to cut things short, but she asked to add me and told me that I was not getting away from her...an odd choice of words, but I looked forward to talking to her, which I did the very next night.

As time went on, what started out as chat grew into something more...I began learning about who she is, things about her life, including some very intimate and private matters, things she normally does not tell people (according to her) unless very comfortable with them. I found myself opening up to her, and we would talk almost every night online for hours on end. It was not uncommon to look at the clock and see the sun about to rise as I logged off to say goodnight to her...

Finally sometime in late January I had to say something and told her that if given the chance, I would want to pursue things outside of the virtual realm...I was hoping that perhaps she shared this desire but, unfortunately, while she said she loved our time together, she enjoyed her comfort zone...yet at the same time, she said that the thought of me dissappearing made her whimper and cringe. While a little dissapointing, it told me that 1) she does feel something for me and 2) even though she is not comfortable with moving into the real world with this at the moment, the future is open.

Well it is four months to the day since we first met, we still talk quite frequently and have explored and talked about all sorts of things...after taking the advice of a friend (*hugs Jenna*) I decided to give her my phone number and told her I did not expect any reciprocity, but if she ever felt comfortable with taking that next step, and wanted to hear my voice, it was there. She said she would write it down but said nothing more about the matter.

I will admit, I have not felt this way for someone in a very, very long time. I think about her every day, and each time we talk I feel as if another layer is peeled, something new is revealed and I feel just that much closer to her. At first I doubted what I felt, after all, the net does make things easier sometimes to connect/talk with someone due to the annonymity of it all, and sometimes I doubt, is this real or fantasy? I have to ask, as I know there are members here who have found the love of their life through an online relation, or have experienced something similar in their life...how did you stop crawling up the walls? I know if this is to work, I have to go with her level of comfort, to not push, and I have done so...but sometimes I feel as if I am going out of my mind, trying not to read into things she says or does and just take them at face value. How to put your insecurities to rest and just go with things?

Somedays are easier than others, that is for sure...but any insight whatsoever is greatly appreciated. I am sorry for the long winded post, and as is my want, I probablly did ramble at some point heh. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

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"And as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we'll play. And I know we can't all stay here forever, so I'll write, my words on the face of today...and then they'll paint it" - Shannon Hoon

Sometimes it is hard to tell whether the voice in your head is insecurity or common sense. Why do you think she is uncomfortable still after months of talking? If it's a logical reason then I'd suggest it's time you work on your own esteem issues in order to be a better partner to her and to increase the likelihood of a successful relationship. If it's something unreasonable or uncomprehendable or irreparable then it may be time to reassess what you can hope to get in return for your participation in this relationship, in otherwords whether your feelings can ever truly be reciprocated.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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All I can add is this. I hope it helps.

If you have not yet asked what she is looking for it would be a good thing to do. I met my husband on AOL and we were both looking for a LTR. We talked on line 2x's then talked on the phone for hrs. We met 2 days later and have been together since. Not all relationships work out that way- but you deserve to find out if there is anything "real" to what you two have.

Best of luck.

SK

Lilith said it best... I've seen these thing pan out both ways. And I couldn't have more appropriately said it than Lilith did it... so take that advice times 2

Online relations are a trip...It's hard to know where they're going, so it's best to try not to get yourself too wrapped up, no matter what you might feel for the other person...I have a situation that in a lot of ways is similar to yours.

The truth is, you don't know if that girl is telling you the truth or not. The internet is a playground for some people, and it's best to guard your emotions if you can.

It's so easy to get attached to someone online, and just as easy to lose them.....It's an emotional roller coaster that I'm just about sick of riding, myself.

There's no way to make yourself stop crawling the walls except to get off the computer and go do something else, preferably away from home and internet. Get out and be with other people. She may not even want a relationship at the moment!!!!

On the flipside, it may turn out fine if you just give it more time and go along with her. Just be careful with your heart

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It's a BOY!!

Dude I feel your pains. I've had these online things several times and it's a crap shoot. I've gotten to a point I try not to take things for granted. If it seems too good to be true... it is. If they put obstacles in the way of getting together, there's a reason and usually NOT the one given. I don't want to rain on your parade but these are the things I've lived. I wish you the best. It works for some.... just hasn't for me yet.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery