The first one cracked me up as I thought of DB's recent 'puter troubles:


~Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
~Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
~Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
~Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
~Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
~How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move
the wrong way?
~Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner reach down, pick it up, examine it then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?
~Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
~How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
~Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not
then what was the purpose of the bath?
~Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
~When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right"? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot"!
~What is the point of brick wallpaper?
~Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
~Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
~How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?