Got this in email...........had to share!



STAGES OF LIFE

Great Truths About Life...That Little Children Have Learned:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats!
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair!
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back...They always catch the second person!
4) Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato!
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food!
6) Never sneeze when someone is cutting your hair!
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time!
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in your milk!
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts!
10) The best place to be when you are sad is on Grandpa's lap!

Great Truths About Life, That Adults Have Learned:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree!
2) Wrinkles don't hurt!
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground!
5) Laughing is good excercise...it's like jogging on the inside!
6)Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy!

Great Truths About Growing Old:

1) Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional!
2) Forget the health foods, I need all the preservatives I can get!
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you are down there!
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you used to get from a roller coaster!
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers and nobody bothers to ask the questions!
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician!
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone!

The Four Stages Of Life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
4) You look like Santa Claus

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is.....not peeing your pants
At age 12 success is...having friends
At age 16 success is...having a drivers license
At age 20 success is...having sex
At age 35 success is...having money
At age 50 success is...having money
At age 60 success is...having sex
At age 70 success is...having a drivers license
At age 75 success is...having friends
At age 80 success is...not peeing your pants

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~