02-22-2003, 10:55 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Things parents have learned....
...from their children
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
If you spray hair spray on dust-bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.
A 4 yr olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 20 kilo boy wearing underwear and a cape.
It is however strong enough to spread paint on all four walls of a 6 x 6 metre room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fans is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the baseball up a few times before you get a hit.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'Uh-oh' it's already too late.
A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a small house centimetres deep.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 yr old.
Duplos will not.
'Playdough' and 'Microwave' should never be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know (much less our 4 yr old)
Ditto Tarzan.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still cannot walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
You probably don't want to know what that smell is.
Always look in the oven before turning it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department has at least a 5 min response time.
The spin cycle on a washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however make cats dizzy.
Cat's can throw up twice their bodyweight when dizzy.
Quiet does not necessarily mean 'Don't Worry.'
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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