I didn't attend my company's party this Saturday for a number of reasons, not least of which is a supervisor in my department.

She's my age (32 or 33) & very masculine looking. She lives at home (not that there's anything wrong with that) & is an in-the-closet lesbian (again, not that there's anything wrong with that).

She's hit on me a couple of times at social functions after work & I kinda brushed it off although it caused me to avoid her at work as much as possible.

When I came into work yesterday, I had a couple of people ask me for advice about her. She apparently hit on a new staff member quite aggressively (to give just one example of her inappropriate behaviour that night). She emailed the staff member after the party & even called her yesterday at work (the supervisor had the day off).

The new staff member didn't want to call her back because she felt uncomfortable & I told her she didn't have to if she didn't want to. She asked if she should tell another supervisor & I said if she wanted to, she should (but I did tell her that the supervisor in question wouldn't do much at that moment but hey, at least it's a record of it, right?).

Like I said, I initially brushed off her advances but now I am witnessing them become more aggressive in nature & am not sure what to do (if anything).

I guess I'll see how things go in the office today but just wondered if anyone has had anything similar happen in their workplace &/or had any thoughts/advice on what to do.

I had sort of a similar situation but was a young girl and just ignored it until I moved to a new job. I would make sure that the co-worker sends her a clear "not interested" message and foward the email to someone higher for record keeping.

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Yeah, I'm iffy on it. It makes me want to leave the company more. An HR friend suggested we report it immediately but it's a tough decision to make. What's the line between sexual harassment & drunkeness at the party?

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If there's anything I learned from spending years in a management position it is that even the things that seem small need to be documented. Sharni is right, this is sexual harrassment. That has to be reported to HR. Not an easy decision, I know, but it is the correct one.

It's the small things that, when left alone to start, fester into larger problems. If not addressed now, it could end up causing a much larger problem for more people than just the ones involved now.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Interesting responses.

I wonder what the first-thought responses would be (including my own) had it been opposite genders or even an 'attractive' girl-on-girl pass.

There is no question that an advance was made and that today there is a system as eager to deal with it as it once was to ignore the issue. It would seem it largely depends on what the offended person really wants to happen and how 'harassed' they truly feel they were. Only the parties involved know their personal feelings.

Is the desire to just bring it to an end with a 'not interested' or exercise the system or even persecute by an individual standard? My knee-jerk reaction is to be aware there is a system that is available for help, but also that the system is a steamroller, once put into motion. Often it is itself obligated to a course that rolls over everybody, regardless of intent, interpretation or the desires of either party.

My personal, first reaction is to address the issue 'personally'. Making it 'clear' that I do not like, want, or am going to have ANY of this, could well resolve it there. I would then 'keep' my backup of any and all documentation and I would 'verbally' make a note of the incident with the 'someone higher', (including a note of the date/time/higher-up' I made note with).

I'm not crazy about an either/or method as first choice. When a progression can be made to reach the desired result, that's all I'm interested in. When all else fails, you take it to the next level, but that is more of a guy thing I guess.

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Steph, your HR friend is 100% correct.

No, not THAT curse.

I killed another thread.

Wanda

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"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"

---Margaret Cho

Did you? Or, did the thread just hit the point where Steph's issues have worked themselves out? (In the sense of what she needed to do/say here on Pixie's, not at her workplace: two very different situations, actually).

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

I have not posted to the thread so I know its not dead yet







ooooooooooooppps

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