
01-03-2005, 04:22 PM
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curvy queen
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: uh, no I don't want stalkers
Posts: 507
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need advice on touchy topic
Ok. I feel a little unconfortable bring all this dirty laundry up in public, especially since I've only been on this board about a week. But on the other hand, ya'll are some of the least judgemental people in the world, so here goes.
My mother-in-law and I have a really good relationship. I like her, she likes me, and it's all cool. She and dad-in-law have a kinda open relationship, although i don't think they ever actually sat down and decided this...I think it just sort of happened and mostly on mom-in-laws part.
MIL has a friend that she works with, Don. For a while, we have suspected that Don is more than just a friend, but lately, he's been all up in her shit. Everywhere she goes, he tags along, and usually with one hand on her ass or chest. And generally also right in front of everyone, including my father in law.
Don has started integrating himself into family occasions, Christmas, Thanksgiving, funerals. NOBODY likes him, mostly becuase he's a fucking creep and I think he might also be a pedophile - not sure about that yet, and I hpe I never find out. He makes everyone, especially my husband and me and me very uncomfortable, and we really feel that father in law is being seriously disrespected by this joker.
I guess my question is, Is it my business? Is this something i should confront my mother in law about?
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01-03-2005, 04:29 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Austin, Tx/Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 190
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I can't speak from personal experience, but I think if it really makes you uncomfortable you should confront her in a non confrontational way.
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01-03-2005, 04:38 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDanRTW
I can't speak from personal experience, but I think if it really makes you uncomfortable you should confront her in a non confrontational way.
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LOL^^^^
It's not really your business. You can easily ask her if he will be attending family events and if he is choose not to go. She will get the message and you will keep the peace.
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01-03-2005, 04:41 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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I'd be in his face in a very confrontational way
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*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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01-03-2005, 04:48 PM
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~Imaginary lover~
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,432
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I believe I'd have the right like I said if it was a "family" function. But as far as their personal life, NO.
I can't imagine dad not being man enough to tell her if he didn't like it.*shrug*
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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.
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01-03-2005, 05:05 PM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Here's my :cents:...
What happens between your mom-in-law, dad-in-law, and this guy is there own business....behind closed doors. When it starts making its way into public and family functions, well that's a different story.
If this guy is making an ass of himself, and feeling up mom in front of everyone (especially the kids!) then yes you and the rest of the family have every right to speak up. It's not only disrespectful to your father in law, but to everyone else. What kind of message are they sending to the kids that are around? That it's ok to treat women like that? Bullshit.
Granted it should be your father in laws place to say something, but for whatever reason he feels as though he shouldn't. I don't see anything wrong with the rest of the family saying for him though. Get the rest of the fam to back you up and then get on this guy.
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01-03-2005, 04:37 PM
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~Imaginary lover~
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,432
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You damn right it's YOUR business when she brings him to a family function. First ask "dad" how he feels about all this before you say anything to mom. If it doesn't bother him then there's nuthin you can do. If it does then lay it on her.
__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.
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01-26-2005, 05:02 AM
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Freeze!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
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Knock him on his ass
If that were my mum or MIL I know what I would be doing. I would grab this joker by the collar, drag him outside and pound the living crap out of him. Simple and straight forward as that. There is no subsitute for disrespectful people, regardless if they have an open r/ship or not. If you are not one to fight, then get a brother or male friend to do it for you. Make sure that you have the entire fam's backing to do it before hand, so you won't look like an ass when it happens.
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03-29-2005, 09:33 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: SouthEast Michigan
Posts: 780
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LAW,
I would confide in hubby. This is his mom. He may know what is going on, but do not want anyone to confront his parents on it. You do not want to step out of turn and isolate yourself because you opened up a can of worms that others rather have kept it alone.
About Don. I would agree with others that if you have suspicions about him and kids, then do not leave any kids alone with him. Keep an eye on him. Don't turn a blind eye. It is one thing with your FIL or MIL, but with kids involved, they need protection and guidance. They shouldn't be doing their things in front of kids. So if it does come up, maybe bring it up at that angle. If he cannot keep his paws to himself then he should stay away for public family gatherings.
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04-16-2005, 05:45 AM
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curvy queen
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: uh, no I don't want stalkers
Posts: 507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stinger
LAW,
I would confide in hubby. This is his mom. He may know what is going on, but do not want anyone to confront his parents on it. You do not want to step out of turn and isolate yourself because you opened up a can of worms that others rather have kept it alone.
About Don. I would agree with others that if you have suspicions about him and kids, then do not leave any kids alone with him. Keep an eye on him. Don't turn a blind eye. It is one thing with your FIL or MIL, but with kids involved, they need protection and guidance. They shouldn't be doing their things in front of kids. So if it does come up, maybe bring it up at that angle. If he cannot keep his paws to himself then he should stay away for public family gatherings.
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So here's an update on the situation
My father in law has finally had enough. he laid down the law with my mother in law and ordered Don out of the house. He said that he was never to come in the house again or be around his children or his grandson ( my son) and if don ever showed up again, he would kill him - which may be a little extreame, but that was probably the Jack-N-Coke talking. Anyway, it's been a bit of a falling out between them. Don has not been at the house recently, but they do work together and they do go out after work sometimes. This of course, irritates my father in law to no end. He is considering divorce, but our state is a community property state. For the non-initiated, that means he gives up a claim to half of everything, 401k, equity in the house, stocks, bonds, savings, everything but debt, of which he will be stuck completly with becuase it's all in his name. They ARE in counseling, but that is at a stalemate and will not move any further until according tothe therapist "they have a two person and not three person relationship."
My husband was in on leave for the last two weeks, and we clued him in on what happened. he has talked to his mom and dad about it and has made it clear that we don't want Turner (our son) around Don. His mom was a little offended, but i guess that her problem. I am very comforted by the fact that every family friend I have discussed this with agrees with me about my perception of him.
So for the Cliff's notes: don is a douchebag, everyone knows it but MIL and Mr. LAW has laid down the law with the family. the end. 
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04-17-2005, 11:56 AM
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Slut Lolver
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado USA
Posts: 587
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I am glad you feel this is the end but if it's not here is something for you to consider.
They may be a Cuckold Couple and this is their way of enjoyment these days. If you don't know much about Cuckolds do a web search for informat6on.
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