most of us know that people get raped, some of us have heard of people in town etc who have been raped, Fewer of us know people who have been raped, and even fewer of us have been raped ourselves. most of this is supposition, I've only talked to a few people on here who have been raped but I'm sure there are more. I want to say here that you can poll anonymously but you can't post as such and no one is required to explain themselves.This is an open discussion and a chance to talk, listen, and know that no one is truly alone.

I was raped. Twice. Two different men, two different races, two differnt towns, three years apart (thought I was gonna say two didn't ya?) two different types, and I guess both my fault. I know what you're saying, no ones fault but his...... but the older I get I think I was just looking for a way to lose my virginity without it being my fault. anyway the first time I guess it wasn't technically rape he just ground me into gravel and fingered me..... I was 13 he was about 25 I guess black guy I had never met or seen although I notice him now, everytime I see his car kinda hard to miss the only big-bird yellow honda in a small town... I was out at 1 am, alone middle of no where...... anyway long story short I was in the wrong place at the wrong time there was a struggle I ran him into the brick wall of a carwash, (thats where I was waiting on someone) dented his car with my foot pushing off somehow I ended up on the ground..... anyway I limped home later holding my pants on because they were ripped. and so was I, still have scars on my back from the rocks.

the second time I knew better than to go to this guys house but I went and took two friends with me as back up at 16 the worst thing to do is always the most attractive.... well we all got a little out of our gourds but before I got fucked up I said "I'm coming in here a virgin, and I want to walk out a virgin..." I walked out bow legged, my best friend at the time lost her virginity at the same time on the other side of the wall.

thats my story and now at 19 and a lesbian I guess I just want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who has been hurt by others. once again I would like to say that no one has to post but please I would like to get some stats.

BamaKyttn

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-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.

Bama - I think the statistics I remember from many years ago was that the "estimate" is that 1 in 10 women is raped (in the US).... and they have always assumed that estimate is low .... maybe very low because so many rapes go unreported. I have never been raped, but I know the details of at least one friend who was .... and I suspect, since I have a lot of female friends, that I know a few more who have been raped and just have never told me about it! You are not alone, you are among friends and you have the strength to make sure any victim mentality you carried with you in the past is washed away!

Sweetie I've had a ton of pretty awful stuff (sexual) happen to me....would be glad to email you but there were several things, all of which contributed for many years to who I was......

I would be more than happy to share with you about some of my experiences if you wanna PM or email me.


Don't ever go saying it was your "fault"...even though I understand totally where you're coming from in saying that. As you age and learn more about what motivates people to HURT other people, you will HOPEFULLY come to realize that you didn't ask for what you got. You didn't EARN it in some way....

nothing could be further from the truth.


Please PM me.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

I would like to add something here..

Just because you/we/I LIKE or LOVE sex...and all things sexual does NOT mean we earn or deserve to be raped, hurt, abused or otherwise thought less of.


I fantasize about some pretty edgy sex play sometimes but that doesn't MEAN that I ENJOYED it when an old boyfriend tried to strangle me to "see what it felt like to fuck someone unconscious"....................I did NOT earn or deserve that kind of horror.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

Shoulda Known

We all know better
Than to step out at night
So we carry protection
Guns don't make it right.

We take the chance
We pay the price
We relinquish our freedoms
It's our own life we sacrifice.

It's our fault
We made the choice
Still no one listens,
Hears our voice.

He spoke with soothing words
In his calm, low tone
Assuring the poor girl
Waiting all alone.

"I'll wait with you"
"I could take you home"
"You don't have to stay here "
"Not here, beautiful, not all alone"

"Want to sit in my car?"
"Here, sit down baby, right inside"
"Need to go somewhere baby?"
"Here, I'll give you a ride."

"Aww, comeon sweetheart"
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm a good, stand-up guy"
"What do you think I'm gonna do?"

Ever trusting
She stayed and talked
Ever trusting
Little girl you shoulda walked.

Little girl it's all your fault
Don't start to cry
Little girl, you're on your own,
Ask yourself why.

Poor little child
She should have know
Too much faith in the world
Now she's been shown.

The world is mired
In filth and mud
The innocent shall pay
In pain and blood

Katherine Rogers '99

__________________
-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.

Hi dear Kyttn

You already know because we have spoken about it in private, but I was homosexually gang raped at 16 years old. 5 guys, I was also punched about the face. It was all blanked out of my mind sub conciously nad the memories have only come back in the last 15 months but the way my emotions were effected has been very debilitating.

I know you are a nice person Hun and no one deserves to be raped or molested. I know that i never did but I have always felt unworthy of love somehow and it is hard to get past.

big hugs to you K

((((((((((((((((((((((GG)))))))))))))))))))))) we all love you and to us you're completely worthy of it and anyone who says you aren't can bugger off.


kisses to you I.

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-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.

I wasn't going to post but...after reading this a few times I thought I would share. But first off to reiterate what Randygal and Grumbleguts have said...NO ONE deserves to be raped. There are five types of people I hate (hate is a strong word, I tend not to use if if I can) and rapists and child molesters fill two of those spots.

That being said the first woman I ever loved told me her history one night...and I learned she was brutally raped three times by three different men, all boyfriends...to say it made me angry is putting it very lightly. I am sorry that this has happened to you BamaKyttn and Grumbleguts, and for the others who polled anon...I only urge you if you have not, to seek counseling, the scars are deep and will take long to heal. I can't tell you how many nights of crying, screaming and yelling I had to comfort...it broke my heart every time, and made me wish I could find these men, drag them in a dark alley and teach them the true meaning of fear...

Sorry, I am not a violent man at all (the few who know me here know that)...but after reading these posts are leading me down memory lane. Just know that people out there are hoping one day you are able to overcome the past and be happy once again, take care.

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"And as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we'll play. And I know we can't all stay here forever, so I'll write, my words on the face of today...and then they'll paint it" - Shannon Hoon

I was 13 in downtown Atlanta going to a punk rock show at the Metroplex. I had been sorta flirting with this very cute punk rock guy at the show. We had started a conversation and were talking the whole time. After the show a bunch of people were going to the place in which he resided. Everyone was drinking and using drugs, including myself. Somehow the next thing I remember was that he punched me so hard I fell to the floor and kinda blanked out. When I had come to he had already ripped my panties off and proceeded to have his way with me as a few male onlookers laughed. After he finished I got up quickly ran to the bathroom crying. I then hopped out the bathroom window to get the hell out of there as they began banging on the bathroom. It was cold but not terribly cold. I made it back to a friend's apartment roughly 8-10 city blocks away and he let me in. He took me straight into his bathroom and began helping me get cleaned up. This was the first time that something of this nature had happened to me from a non-family member (but wasn't the last).

This was a life turning event for me, as any sexual trauma is. I would never wish anything of this nature on anyone. Not even my worst enemy. I would not want to go back in time and change this from happening because of one simple reason. I like who I am today!

Thank you BamaKyttn for starting this thread and allowing us to open up. Talking about these things are what helps us heal and grow.
-Summer

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-Summer
~ Pics of ~
~ little ol' ~
~ me! ~

As someone who was molested once by a neighbor. I know what you are going through. All of you didn't deserve and it wasn't your fault. Never had counseling but it may help someday. Am handling so far, but you are not at fault. If you ever need to talk feel free. Ken

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!

i had a freind she was raped on a date (i dont call it date rape rape is rape) and to my shame i did not handle it right when she
told me i stormed over to his flat and beat the shit black and blue
when i should have been there for her it messed up our freindship
she never said it but i think i scared her when i lost my temper when she needed a freind iwas to busy thinking with my fists

guys if you ever have a loved one come to you for help after
they have been hurt this way dont show anger only understanding and love and when alone then scream and
shout above all be the freind i was not

Counseling has helped me, as well as talking about it with a few close friends, at this point my shrinks are telling me I'm bi-polar (manic depressive) dunno I think I'm just stressed. (my parents make me break out in hives every time I talk to them......) I feel though that I have made my peace with my short commings and with my misjudgments..... I'm sure you're all thinking "oh boy this is where she says that god saved her....... tune out time...." no, I didn't "find god" she found me in every day that goes by and I am able to practice my beliefs without self doubt or pity.

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-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.

I have not told this story in full to amy one but my psychiatrist but I am in an unburdening frame of mind. My friend Kyttn is so brave and a truly lovely person and she shared the pain of it as did Summer.

To beraped is something that shreds you and makes you feel indescribably dirty and unclean. The mental scars are far worse than physical. You never forget you just learn to live with it. Knowing that others know you were raped is hard too. It makes you feel like damaged goods.

I was in the australian air force as an apprentice. We all lived in shared accomodation, there were about 1000 airmen on the base. I had been to the base cinema and decided to go for a walk before going back to my block and bed. I was walking by the squash court which was dark and away from general foot traffic areas. a couple of guys approached me and one wanted to fight me. I hated fighting and refused he said that I could fight or pull down my pants and wank myself if i didnt. I called him a cunt and tried to run away but the other guy tripped me. the first one started punching me and the other one held me. 3 other guys came out of the squash courts and they all carried me inside.
They pulled of my jeans and undies and held me down over a chair and one by one rammed themselves in to my anus.

It was exceptionally painful. I bled and was found sobbing by a cook going to work. He called the air force police and i was taken to the base hospital. Then and to this day i cannot remenber the face of the guys. It was dark but my mind was clouded with terror.

Until 15 months ago I had been unable to remember this, i knew there was something scary in my past but as i was also the victim of child abuse as a child I thought it was that. Only after i resolved things with my dad and was able to forgive and love him did these memories surface. It explained a lot of why I am such a wreck emotionally.

From what i gather i was not given any counselling at the time.

I counsel survivors of sexul assault and while I have never been in that situtation myself...I just want to say for the record that I don't care if you are walking in a dark alley naked at 3 am....NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE VIOLATED......

At someone poseted earlier that the stat was 1 in 10 women are sexually assaulted, the actual stat at this time is 1 in 6 women...now that is pretty damn scarey!!!

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~ I want you to want me.....

It started, I don't know exactly, when I was 8 or 9 years old I think. I'd be at the babysitter's house. He was in his mid-twenties and lived with his Mom and was a 'friend of the family'. He had stacks of porn mags in his closet that he'd show me, and it wasn't long before he had his pants down and was instructing me in how to give him a bj. Then he'd have me lay down on his bed and he'd just hump me until he came. That's all that would happen, although it happened several times a year, until I was 12 or 13, and he noticed my penis was developing. He must have figured I was old enough to endure his penis inside me, 'cause that's exactly what he did. Talk about tuning out... I was there, but I wasn't, if that makes any sense. It didn't hurt, thankfully. I am also thankful it wasn't a violent forceful thing. Although I think if I hadn't been so compliant he could've been forceful. Like Summer though, I do like who I am today. However, if anything like that happened to my child, I think I would be apt to take on a solution like Axe's. The thing I find strange is that a lot of women I've dated were rape victims as well... something I wouldn't find out until after we had started dating.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these