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  #1  
Old 08-16-2003, 12:14 PM
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dm383 dm383 is offline
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Two Cows!

How different cultures might view two cows in a field!!

Traditional Corporation You have two cows. You sell one, and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Corporation You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are suprised when the remaining cow drops dead.

Russian Corporation You have two cows. You count them, and learn you have five cows. You count them again, and learn you have 42. You count again , and learn you have 12. You stop counting, and open another bottle of Vodka!

French Corporation You have two cows. You go on strike, because you want THREE cows.

Japanese Corporation You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size, and produce twenty-times as much milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon, and market them worldwide.

German Corporation You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years and milk themsleves.

British Corporation You have two cows. Unfortunately, both are crazy.

Chinese Corporation You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim FULL employment, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

ENRON Corporation You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax-exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred to a Cayman Island company, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new U.S. President, leaving nine cows. The public buys your BULL !!!



It seems this came from a 'round-robin' Email...... my name's not Robin, which is why I got it from a newspaper!! Enjoy!

DM
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  #2  
Old 08-16-2003, 12:56 PM
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PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
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I love your updated version

Here's an older one

"TWO-COW EXPLANATION"
THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...


A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with some milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.--- So what?

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
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Old 08-16-2003, 02:43 PM
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lakritze lakritze is offline
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Great discriptions for the most part.A fascist would come out in a black car,shoot both of your cows and if you ask why,they would say you are unpatriotic and shoot you too,while conscripting your kids to fight in the current act of agression to steel more cows.
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Old 08-17-2003, 10:31 PM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
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LMAO ... Cowkimon! Love it.

Thanks DM. (Almost didn't recognize you in your new avatar ... )
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  #5  
Old 08-18-2003, 12:39 AM
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ryker ryker is offline
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LMAO....love em dm383 thanks
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