Two year old require more patience than I possess.

Today, for instance, my son has managed to pull every book off the bookshelf, every DVD off the rack, get the VCR jammed (yes, i still own one) pull all his pullups out of the package, rip the sheets off the bed, eat cat food, and dump laundry detergent all over my living room rug...twice. I strongly suspect he flushed the soap down the toilet. I have no evidence to prove his, except for the facts that the soap is missing and the toilet is backed up. He also followed behind me undoing every housekeeping chore that I managed to get accomplished.

The child has 86 arms. Two are constantly seen. The rest only jut out as needed to create chaos and mayhem. They are never seen, but their effects are felt throughout the house.

Any suggestions for me so that my child might live to see three, and I might stay out of jail?

LAW

P.S. Yes, I spank.

Have two more children.


By the time your third is two...you'll be used to the chaos.


I've always theorized that a child wanders aimlessly leaving a wake of destruction and displaced toys behind them. If you are lucky enough to pick it up at the end...you can follow their trail backwards and at the end, you'll have a clean house.

I say "theorized" because that theory has yet to be proven. So actually, I should say "postulize". Isn't that the rule for mathmatical equations? Postulates are ideas that haven't been proven; theorems are proven postulates.


Now I don't know.

Where was I before I got sidetracked?


Oh yes...have more kids. So get busy, and take pics!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Hey there,

I have a two ear old...nearly three actually. A girl, but still, i do know exactly what you mean. I know that feeling of whater you do is then undone. And if ahe plays with her sister to distract her momentarily, tear usually ensue shortly after.

Some one i know who has managed a relatively stress free parenthood said to me... well why are you letting her? She basicly said make sure she gets lots of sleep at night, only have the minimum of hard to clear up stuff about and make sure she gets some quality fun time with us so she does have to resort to bad behaviour to get attention. What else.... never negotiate, just give a couple of choices that you have predecided, lock up or fit child latches where possible etc. Oh she had a kinda "safe " room with a child gate on it so she when she did want to get on she could do so interupted.

This isn't what our house is like by the way... I just wish it was.

Working on it...#2 is on the way.

lonelyarmywife,

What I did was to take my monsters to the park in the afternoons. That kept them out of the house so they couldn't trash it, it got ME out of the house, and it let them burn off excess energy. They would run, run, run to stay up with me as we walked through the park (Patterson Park is a biggish one). After dinner, when bedtime came around, well, they would do their crash and burn, and as I watched them sleep the sleep of the innocent, I would feel guilty about wanting to throttle them three or four times that day.

Hey - time is on your side.

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Eudaimonia

I feel your pain. Our daughter is two and a half today. For the most part she's a very good kid, but she has her moments when I'm sure she has been possesed.

Awwww I miss two! Cherish them I say! They will soon be 14 and telling you about your bad parenting in a superior, condescending voice that makes you want to rip their hair out. Your yours

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Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over, it became a butterfly!

Owning Pita, by my JassWolf!!
My Story~ Friday Night Spanking

Yeah I know. The other day I made her let me carry her to bed because I know the day is coming all too soon that I won't get to carry her in to bed and tuck her in anymore. As much of a pain she can be sometimes I know there are goingto be days when I miss the simpleness of all this.

OMG I am so with you on this one. My son will turn 3 in November, but he is a holy terror in the house! Climbing in the bathroom, getting my lipstick and painting the walls with it...taking my blush and crushing it in his room...INTENTIONALLY peeing in the floor and pooping on the carpet. Ripping EVERY single piece of clothing out of his dresser, pulling off every book, dvd, vhs tape that is on the shelves downstairs...emptying his toybox and REFUSING to help clean up. Playing in the guinea pig food and the bird food and dumping it all over the carpet...OY VEY! Makes me wish for some of these and this doesnt' help..he just laughs...Timeout doesnt work either.

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“Sex is one of the most personal things we do as people. To have someone who says she loves you limit how you express yourself in the bedroom is like a small death. It kills the soul.” --Anita Blake to Jason Schuyler in "Blood Noir" by Laurell K. Hamilton

*Walks away from this thread pretending she never saw it*

La la laaa...la la laaa!

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

LMFAO@^^^^^

Denial ISN'T a river in Egypt Lou! Pay attention!!!!!!!!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Seems to have been a one day demon that has been purged from his system. He's been much better lately.


Ha ha don't be scared Lou! I swear it's worth it!



























Most days.

there's a reason they call 'em terrible twos. i'm sure he'll grow out of it.

some more advice.
be consistent: if you make a rule, you've gotta enforce it. pretty much no exceptions. those damn kids smell weakness and they pounce like rabid tabbies.

help him learn to be responsible for the chaos he creates: i.e. have him help you clean up, fix, etc

let him help you with chores. it'll take longer but you can get time in with him and still get your stuff done.

give him more credit, more responsibity, more input. when they're two, it's very easy to think of them as just large babies 'casue they're all clumsy and blabbering and whiney, but it's hard to remember that they are smarter and more observant and learning faster than we realize while at the same time having great difficulty expressing themselves...very frustrating to be two, i'm sure.

i've also found that kids (at least my kids) respond better to sternness than intimidation. if i'm all up in their little faces yelling mommy dearest-like, they degenerate into incoherently psychotic, blubbering munchkins. if i'm firm but kind (like mary poppins ) it always goes much better for all. i can totally relate, though (((law))). sometimes it's so hard to keep my cool.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

OH darlin I understand completely. When I worked at the daycare I started in the toddler room. I was then moved to the 2 yr old room when my own was graduating from infant to toddler. So from a teacher that had up to 13 kids in one class at one time...let me give you some advice.


Have a schedule and try to stick to it. Let them help with household chores. If your doin laundry- show them how to sort, let them go behind you and pick up what you drop ( and drop some on purpose adding "oh mom is being so goofy I keep dropping the clothes, can you help me pick that up), and praise them. That makes them smile and warms your heart at the same time. Also, have a nap time. that gives you and her a break. Even if you lay down with her.

There were other suggestion on here that are real good. Just dont let them rule the house. You are the parent! Not the baby you created. If you want someone to rule your house....let one of the grandparents move in with you.


just my thoughts,
natalie

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

I know how you feel!!! lol. My 2 are 42 weeks apart..my son will be 3 in january and my daughter 2 in december. well my son decided to start his terrrible 2's late and my daughter decided she may as well start them early I think, because what one misses the other is sure to get!!!