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some help
Jenna.....
the best thing you can do is live in the present...the problem lies that for you a date has more meaning than just a date, in your mind, a date means a possible future and vulnerability.
What if the date was just a date? No expectation, live in the moment, enjoy yourself in the moment, but just go on it.
If you enjoy yourself, go on the second one, no expectation, keep the wall up if you will, but just go.
Keep doing that, just going.....don't change anything else and eventually, after enough time and trust is established, that wall will fall down
It all depends on staying in the moment, not thinking about the future or even telling yourself you are only going out as friends each time you go. True feelings come out through time if it is right, no matter how much you resist. Accept that you will resist, accept the wall is there, don't fight the wall, but keep "going." Think of it as untraining yourself by forcing yourself to be exposed (or desensitizing yourself) to your fears.
Its all about how you approach the moment, you can approach it for the moment it is or you can weigh it down with stuff it doesn't even possibly represent yet. Approach it like a task and for the moment it is. Don't worry about the possibilities of tommorrow, just worry about today. If you begin to worry about the future, bring yourself into where you are at that moment and aside from your future fears, how that moment is in its reality.
hope that is clear enough.
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