Life can be such a challenge sometimes. I'm so sorry to hear that it has gotten so overwhelming for you lately.
Like Lilith, the words are tough to find in this situation.....
what I see is that so far, right now, you've chosen and ARE still here, with the world. If you can continue breaking it down to hour by hour, then day by day.......does that relieve some of the overwhelming sadness you feel?

I see you signed off with "love starved" and that probably just adds to the feelings that you don't feel worthy to be here.....but let me tell you, for everything you've experienced, you can be an inspiration to someone ELSE. Staying alive accomplishes that in itself....

Keep poking around till you find the right combo of meds. Feeling better may just sneak up on you when you least expect it.

I really admire your courage for putting it all out there like this. Please hold tight to this rollercoaster ride we call life, ok Larry?

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!