LOL. Right off the bat, I would ensure beyond all shadows of doubt that there were no cameras present. Then I would proceed to drink all the available (read free) alcohol, leave strange stains on carpets, bedspreads, and kitchen tables, and generally try to have the biggest, wildest party I could arrange. Then I would have to spend the last three days frantically putting things to right, so that I could smile innocently at you upon your return.

Of course I would fail miserably at both events. The party would be a fizzled flop. I would forget and leave my socks under the couch, and the one place I didn't look would contain a camera.

But I would have two weeks to drink all of your booze!

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