Busy as a one-armed paper hanger

Hoppin' like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest

A dumbass bomb went off in here & left no survivors

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.