NEVER ask in a bar if you can bum a fag, or push in someone's stool.

Americans still have 1 cent coins (pennies) that can weigh in total

almost a kilo (2 pounds) by the end of the day.

Pack in a bottle of Schweppes Dry Ginger ale syrup, 'cos you can't

get a scotch and dry for love nor money.

Milk is usually half strength and "gravy and biscuits" are neither.

Traffic on the wrong side of the road is dis-orienting when you

are trying to work out how to get home.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating