Got the VirusScan reinstalled and re-updated. Even updated *gasp* to IE/OE 6. Uninstalled and reinstalled Java, going to 1.4.1_03.
Still no webcam, still dunno about the scanner. Or my old b/w printer for that matter (the laser printer I won for a $1 raffle ticket). And now the spacebar on my nearly 6 year old keyboard is acting up. Oh well, at least those arecheap.

Anyone here use Yahoo a lot and know why it would want to crash all the time every time I try to start it? Even after a reboot? The only way around it seems to be uninstalling Yahoo Messenger and then reinstalling it again.