Girls-rule - YOU RULE! That's an excellent idea! I'm glad to see you getting more positive and the more you say the more it sounds like my suspicions were right.

His jokes about 'How much wine have you had?' are meant to be self deprecating (just like how when Fussy tells me I'm beautiful, I tell him he needs his eyes testing). I think the next time he says something like that, you need to persist with it. Tell him 'No it's true....it's not the wine....you turn me on all the time, it's just that when I've had a glass or two I'm brave enough to tell you'.

And as for the porn: Yay! There is a sexual animal under there. Probably far more sexual and wild than you could imagine. Sounds to me like he loves and respects you so much he's afraid to let this side show in case you disapprove or are frightened by it. In that case, all you need to do, is show you that you're not.

A lot of men grow up being told that sex is a dirty thing that women don't enjoy, but just endure, and that a 'nice girl' wouldn't do this that or the other. Perhaps you are up on a pedestal to him, and too good to be debased by the kind of sexual acts he really enjoys. Again, you need to show him (and teach him) that you can indulge in the kind of sex that gets him going and hungry for more, without him losing respect for you. Just because you are a sexual person capable of being dirty and wild, doesn't mean that you are any less intelligent, articulate, thoughtful, respectable than you were before. This may be a new concept for him, and may be the barrier you need to overcome.

Lastly, does he know you're at Pixies? And if so, what is his reaction to this place? And if not, have you thought about showing it to him. Just perusing some of the threads here may reassure him that his fantasies are normal and healthy and that women share them too. This way perhaps he won't feel such fear about discussing them with you.

I'm giving you the advice I should have recieved when I was with my ex....so I do speak from experience (except that I was the one in your husband's role). Good luck sweetie, but I just KNOW it's going to work out for you.

x

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Fruit flies like a banana"

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