In response to Loulabelle's comments. Well said, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. You're absolutely right, we need to think more about the positive sides of our sex life and our relationship overall and not dwell on the bad. I think that will help alot. The whole discussing our fantasies and that sort of thing is really hard because he's uncomfortable with it. I think we're both getting better and opening up more...just a little bit though, like what type of women do you like, blonde, brunette, etc given the choice of a one night stand, any accents get you excited, nothing more intense than that, but it's a start! I remember one time I found porn site links on our computer and I mentioned them to him and he was like, oh I checked it out once and I didn't like it. Well too bad because I do, but the truth was he looked at them all the time, but couldn't admit it to me even though I told him I don't mind. He was just so uncomfortable about it. I guess way back then I shouldn't have given up on it, it was a bigger issue than I thought. After 10 years how do you re-invent yourself and your relationship?????

I guess I'm the one more interested in moving our relationship to the next level so I need to take the bigger risks and put my needs out there. One glass of wine goes a long way to getting me to open up. Hopefully if we can just get in a few good no pressure sessions we can really open the gates to more fun for both of us. We had fun last night so I'm going to try to keep things going, but sometimes I feel like I'm annoying him. Like I tell him how sexy he is and grab his ass, that sort of thing and instead of getting him excited he's like, what's gotten in to you, no more wine for you. He says it jokingly, but it makes me feel uncomfortable and definetly not confident to try anything even remotely risky like masterbating in front of him! I guess I'll keep it up and when I'm in the mood to be playful I won't hold back. It's my only hope. If he comments on my new attitude I'm going to start telling him I'm just being me and acting on the feelings I've always had. He can either accept it or not and if things don't change after I put in 100% effort then I'll re-address the situation. Wish me luck!