I know exactly what u mean. i too would not go for the actual clit peircings as i would be too afraid of damage also.But this sis really nice.Remarkbly lil pain.The whole thing lastest less than 5 min from the time i got in the room to leaving that includes taking off my clothes putting them on again ect ect.I wont lie the 5 seconds when she makes the hole does hurt buyt WAYYYYYYYYY less then i was led to believe.about say3 or 4 times more than an ear paeircing id say and then 5 seconds later no pzain nothing all is good nowSo far i love it and so does the boyfriendwe've just been "investigating" so sorry for the delay in replyinghahah anyhoo gotta runhope that answers the question if you have anymore feel free to ask