RIO GRANDE

I was swimming in the river,
As bare as I could be,
When some dag nab ol’ coyote,
Took my duds and ran from me.

So now I’m in this river,
Without a thing to wear,
Hoping that some good ol’ soul,
Might come along and share.

I don’t need fancy boots or pants,
Or shirts without a tear,
Just sumpin’ to cover my privates,
So people don’t stop and stare.

I got lucky with my problem,
Cuz’ Jose came by my spot,
He said, “Hey gringo,
Why don’t you just step out?”

I told him ‘bout my missing duds,
That darn coyote went and took,
And I asked if he could loan me sumptin’
I could wear to avoid folks looks.

He said yep, he, had sumptin
And he’d leave it on the bush,
He said it’d cover up above
And even my ol’ tush.

When he left I scrambled from the stream,
And checked what he had left,
Twasn’t shirt or shoes,
Just some ol’ gingham dress.

I had no choice, so I put it on,
Now that was quite a sight,
No boobs to fill the uppers,
And the hips seemed awfully tight.

No matter, I was covered,
So into town I walked,
But I had to be real careful,
Behind me two cowpokes stalked.

I finally reached the general store,
And the owner, he came to see.
“Ain’t got no clothes that I can share,
Less, course, you marry me.”

I was shocked but what was I to do,
I couldn’t fer sure just stay like this,
So that’s when I changed from cowboy,
To simply just plain Miss.