Thread: Raped!
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Old 12-10-2002, 01:11 AM
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lizH lizH is offline
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I'll discuss several of the previous replies to this thread.

First, if you *do* deliberately set out to "get raped", it's not really rape. It's rough sex. For instance, if you get together with someone and want to roleplay a rape fantasy, that is really no different than any other B&D play.

If you're walking through dark alleys at night, that may not be wise, but it's not your fault even if you do it nude. It's the rapist's choice to force himself (usually) upon you.

Before age 5, I was raped/mollested by a total of 12 people, including 3 women. I didn't ask for it, even though one of my perpetrators told me several years ago that I did. What a sick person! If a 2 year old is laying on the bed stark naked yelling "fuck me", a reasonable thing to do is to tell the child to put their clothes on, and find out where they learned that/those words and behavior, then take the child to a doctor and psychologist, and perhaps notify the police if anything reasonable can be ascertained from the child.

At age 12, I was raped by a stranger, because my stepfather kept dropping me off in an unsafe place in the dark. It was still the rapist's fault; I didn't even have any choice in the matter.

I was raped by my first husband also. I was initially consenting, but he decided to hold me down and force the issue at knifepoint at some point.

Yes, I've had therapy about all of these issues. I'm very much ok with it now. In fact, it has helped whenever I have a friend who comes to me and confide that he or she has been raped or mollested. It *really* helps with the empathy and understanding that they want and need!

Incidentally, I also have a diagnosis of bipolar. It has *nothing* to do with my prior negative sexual experiences. In fact, bipolarity is the most *physically* based brain disorder in existence! That is no more anyone's fault than diabetes. Also, it can be controlled by changing the brain's chemistry.

Oh yeah, I've always liked sex. There were certain things I could not do, and the ones I want to be able to do come back as time goes on and I want them to. There were things that were done to me that I never stopped liking. There were many things that were never done to me, which were never a problem.

I have a "rolling pin" analogy. Sex is like a rolling pin. You can use a rolling pin to beat someone over the head, or use a rolling pin to make a nice pie for them to eat. Likewise, you can use sex to hurt someone, sometimes badly. You can also use sex to give extreme pleasure. You can use sex to share great love.
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