All good questions, Lil. I had an ephiphany the other day - I realized that a big part of the issue is that I feel very maternal towards my husband. Somewhere over the past 14 years (and it wasn't recent), I started viewing him more in the role of a child/companion/brother than as a lover....and it's been difficult to try to flip the switch back to making him my lover.

I just don't feel sexy around him, and the sex really doesn't work. I do feel sexy around others...which is a problem. Being a woman in her 30's seems to mean a constant and insistent sex drive that can rule your waking and sleeping hours.

I'm not sure what to do. I love my husband, and I like him. We have fun together, and we rarely fight. Outside of the bedroom, the worst I can say is that he works too much and I am lonely at times. I don't think I need to chase or be chased, and I certainly don't need more drama in my life.

Nope, he is not poly...so that's not an option either.

/me sighs.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney