Hearing of a personal Christmas tsunami is overwhelming for the listener so it's impossible to comprehend what you must be experiencing. That said, an intelligent response isn't going to quickly spring forth from my tiny mind. The facts stated here are dumbfounding to say the least. I guess the only things I can say from a removed position is to ask some simple questions.

Such extreme events are life shaking as single events, let alone when compounded. What precursors did the immediate families have? It is not hard to understand that 'mom & dad' are not going to be on the top of the notification list. It makes sense that the triggers had been pulled by the time you found out it was on it's way down the barrel. The simultaneous events beg to ask if there was a relationship between them.

They say the three sides of all stories are his, hers and what really took place. I'm sorry you only have one of them at this time. It has to make your dilemma even more confounding. The only optional reaction that you have taken at this point would seem to BE the only option. All you can do is be there for the people you care about as they find and fumble their way through life as we all have done and are doing.

You've posted and shared a very personal and troubling situation with people that listen and care. I wish it had not been in the advise category and I wish I had more insightful comments. As a parent that will always be concerned and involved for our adult kids, including with the none thrilling moments and sometimes in exclusion, I can only extend a caring hand.

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