Good Bye
 

I realize that what I now write is of no interest to some Pixie people, of marginal interest to others, and of somewhat significant interest to a few special ones. Even that interest, I’m sure, won’t live very long soon becoming a thin memory of someone whose name will slip your mind very shortly. Still, it is important for me to write this. It is important say good bye and not just delete myself from your lives with no meaning, no reason, no one last, final, strong hug.

My participation in this discussion group will end shortly. Many of you know why I came here. Many of you know that I came with, and still have, low self-esteem. I came seeking affection, attention, validation as a person and as a man. Many of you saw the scared, insecure, and, yes, foolish old man underneath my posts. In summary, I came seeking the attention and affection I was not receiving at home. Part of me wanted to take one last chance to find out if I was in anyway a worthwhile man who did deserve love and attention, etc. That my be one reason why I jumped so strong and so fast.

I now know that I am someone someone could love. I am a good man with qualities attractive to women. There is no reason why I should not have affection and attention and even passion. I can
only use eight letters and one space to show so large a gratitude that can never fit into such a small space: Thank You. Please know that behind those two words are feelings, emotions, and
tears. I thank you all so very, very much.

Pixies is not a good place for me. Perhaps it is as simple as age. Pixies seems to be for younger people, more playful, more secure, I don’t know, more open than my generation. My generation blew open the doors of perception and convention with a sudden explosion of color and music and dance, and acid. You guys, however, have been living in the world we opened for a long time now. You guys went in and settled down. You wrote the constitution for a world of wonder with freedom to love and live and be happy. I am pleased, to a degree, with what you have accomplished. I really don’t think I fit in here though.

Pixies is opening me up more and especially my sexuality. Really. It is just not fair for a near 53-year-old man to start changing. I don’t think I have the energy I once had to go through this.
Change, growth as a human being, can be hard work. It can also take more time than I can afford to devote to it. I’m just not as free as you in your 20's, 30's, even 40's. The 50's decade is very
different. As a sidebar, be prepared to have your world flipped over in ways you cannot imagine later in your life. The 50's, at least for me, contains another identity crisis. The identity crisis of
the 20's–who am I? Where am I going? Why an I here?–returns in the 50's. Ouch. Not fair. I must answer those questions again.

Back to my point. I will take what I have learned about myself while in Pixies and use it to reshape my life as best I can with what energy and time I have left. I will work my ass off to get
my needs met at home with my wife of 24 years. The attention and appreciation I have felt here gives me the boost (I hope) I need to make that happen here at home. I am too old to play too far and for too long away from home. Besides, you guys play too hard. I can’t keep up.

Before I close, permit me a little advice please. Read it for what it is and take as much as pertains to you. Be careful in your relationship now. A lot of you are married. Be careful. I did not see this coming, but you too may find you and your spouse looking at each other ten, fifteen, twenty years from now asking each other: “What happened? What happened to us?” I know now for truth that if our needs are not met at home, we look elsewhere. Please, be careful guys.

One request if I may. I would like to keep my Pixies open for awhile. I hope for and ask for anyone of you to post a response to this, a good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude. Please. I'm sentimental too.

(I save things to read later. Some quiet evening in 2014, I may sit by the fire, read your precious good bye words, and smile remembering the brief and wonderful time I had Pixies back in 2004.)

I do love you,
Larry

LarryL,

I didn't get to know you, and I regret that. Good luck in the future sir. I wish you all the best.

Good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude. :(

Your posts contributed a great deal to this site and I am genuinely sad to see that you are considering leaving. I think you still have a wonderous amount to contribute, many insights that will be lost. As far as the youth of this site, I'm sure that they could certainly use much more of the sage advice you are adept at giving. For us older folk, we sure do appreciate the company. :)
I wish you well though. You have a good head on your shoulders and I'm certain you have the best of reasons behind your decisions, so I support you in all your endevours. Please don't forget us, we'll be here whenever you want to check back in and say "hi". God speed to you, my friend.

Well damn and damn. That'll teach me not to think "now that's someone I want to get to know better when I finally have time to devote to Pixies again."

I've enjoyed your words very much on my fly bys since you came among us. And as much as these just can't be my favorites....they definately show why you were such a wonderful addition to the crew. Gonna miss 'em, and you. I regret not getting the chance to know you better.

So, if you get to be a sentimental 50 something......I demand permission to be a sentimental 30 something, and lean on the optimistic notion that ANYONE might come back again....and that they do more often than not.

May you find the strength to build what you desire.

G

Goodbye Larry... I will certainly miss the eloquent way with which you describe our beautiful state. Washington has much to offer... Desert, Forests, Mountains, Canyons, Cities, and Countrysides, and you painted it with words perfectly for those here at Pixies that have never seen it.

Take care Larry... we will be here should you get the idea to say hello from time to time.

When you need us or just miss us, we'll be here. I'll miss you.

Oh...I almost forgot...

DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!


:p

Gee, Larry, I am so sorry to hear that you are leaving. I always loved what you wrote, maybe because I could identify so well with what you had to say (being 56 myself and an old, sentimental, why can't we all just get along kind of hippy minus the drugs). I also loved your sense of humor. I sure will miss you. :(

Larry, as a sixty (soon to be sixty-one) year old Pixie ... it's not a site just for the young. Didn't really get to know you real well, but I hope you might consider hanging around ... at least for casual visits. For a long time after joining, I was pretty shy and really felt a tiny bit intimidated by how close so many Pixies seemed to be. But I persevered and found that this is really a special place made up of a lot of very special people of all ages and as time passes and they do get to know you a bit, they're very warm and willing to share.

Anyway, you always have our best wishes and one of those is that maybe you'll want to give the site a longer try.

Best wishes on whatever choice you make.

DB

happy tomorrow's - knowing what's best for you and following that path is admirable. As much wisdom as you have to share with us, I'm sure there is a whole other world around you that will endulge of it when you share it with them.

Everyone needs an escape from reality from time to time, and I'm glad that you found us when you needed yours. I hope you walk away with even a speck of what you've left here.

Larry,
You know how you've touched my heart and have become a very dear friend to me. I am sorry that not everyone got to know you like I did. Your words are wonderful and you touched so many in so many different ways. I thank YOU for what you gave me. You built me up so high each time you'd write. I hate to see you leave here because you make things fun for me, but I am selfish. I look forward to things you write. I need you here. I hate this and I hate saying good bye to you so I won't! I only want what's best for you and your wife. It's up to both of you to make things good. I want you happy.
You're an amazing man and you've touched me. I won't ever forget you and your fun posts on pixies. Things won't be the same here without you, that's for sure. Whenever you need a real friend, think of me and find me. I'll be right here for you, right here in dreamland. :(
Love, Your Friend,
Leah

Larry...

as silly as this may sound...

My first Pixie tears are spent as I read your post.. I am sorry to see you go... not because we took time to chat privately (I wish we did)... but because from the dark corner in which I linger I enjoyed your posts... and found great comfort in your sensitive nature.

I wish you and the Mrs. much happiness.. and hope that in time you will find a path that will lead you back to this wonderful place...

Hugs..

Larry,
Though I did not get to know much at all, I can say "best of luck in your journeys"... You are leaving this place on our own terms, and that is a good thing. From reading some of the posts above it is obvious that you contributed to many here and I am sure that you will always be welcome back should such a day come.

Have a great one.
-Toast

((((Larry))))

If you're leaving to spend more time with your wife and do 'real life' stuff, I wish you all the best! May you find the love and happiness you seek and have a long healthy life, filled with all good things!! And of course lots of great sex!

But don't say you're leaving because of your age. There are several of us old-timers here. I'll be 49 in Sept. Pixies seems to be ageless or all the same age. Everyone is accepted no matter which generation you're from.

Old age is not a valid reason for leaving, especially since you're not old!! Leaving for your wife and marriage is ok. :) For whatever reason, know that you'll be missed and welcomed back any time.

Have a great life. "Good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude."

:) :) :)

Can't I be selfish and say "DONT GO--WE NEED YOU HERE TO BOOST US UP, HELL, I NEED YOU HERE!"?