I know it's been a tough day ...
 

So, I thought I'd brighten it up with some cute little jokes I got from a friend ...

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."
~~~~~~~~
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry,
we don't serve food in here."
~~~~~~~~
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
~~~~~~~~~~
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says "We
don't serve strings here."He crumples him up and
tosses him out onto the sidewalk where he gets all
scraped up and tangled. The string walks right back in
and orders a drink. Amazed, the bartender asks, "Hey,
aren't you that same string I just threw out?" The
string answers, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"
~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under
his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the
road."
~~~~~~~~~~
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
~~~~! ~~~~~~~
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of
home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is
it common?" "It's not unusual."
~~~~~~~~
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated
this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've
lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My
dog's cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for
him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at
him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to
have to put him down." "What?, Because he's
cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really! heavy."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50
bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top
shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when
they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once
and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat
it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the
other and says "dam".
~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a good day!

LMAO! TY for the smiles!

Glad you enjoyed. I thought they were cute. ;)

Thanks for the great start to my morning!! Loved 'em!!!

*groans & giggles*:spin:

Teehee :D

Whoa! The steaks are too high! That set my corn-alert off! :)

Those were the stupidist things I ever read....cannot believe I read them all and LMAO

:D :D

:p ;)

Thankyou for the HUGE giggles........I've needed them lately! LOL LOL

((((((((RG)))))))))) Missed you oodles!!!!!!!

*blushing* Lilith...yer so kind!

I peek in all the time but, well, ya know........I'm never far away. :bfly:

RG, glad you enjoyed. Nothing fancy, but I found myself laughing at them just like STO.

A couple more....

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a bar... had to get three stitches.