What If?????
 

You were a BED?...What would you say during or after your owners had sex on you???


(Stupid question...but I am drinking wine again...lmfao)

:D :D :D

Hope it was better for you two/three ?

Next time a little to the left?
or
How come I always have to sleep in the wet spot?

My bed would say: " Omg..a little slower please, I'm about to break a few springs here!" :D :D :D

(ON good days that is..) ;) :D

Or Turn me over then do that again,

"Damn..she's outta batterries again!!" :D :D

My bed - "No, No not the wardrobe, don't jump oooofffffffff"

Glyndwr
 

PMPL.......Mine might say,"if it weren't for these damn kids jumping on me I would get no action at all":D

~chuckling~

Hi lilith

Children - the best contraception known to man!!

Glyndwr
 

At the preschool I ran we would have troubled teen girls come work for a day and NONE of them ever got pregnant after spending 1 day caring for10 kids. Go figure!:D

Ahah!! Aversion Therapy

If I was a bed....
 

I'd say to them - "Now that u've gotten off on me, how about now getting off of me!"

My bed... would say...


"blurblblbllblubbbububublllbb"


it's a waterbed....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
my aching springs

Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down,

up, down......................................

Yes

PLEASE WIPE ME OFF!!!!

gotta call over my other bed buddys and show them what i video taped tonight.

why on earth did he ever un-handcuff her from me?

my O my was that fun or what?

KNOCK IT OFF IM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP HERE!

I'd get rid of that bed in a hurry if it was to talk to me like that!!! LOL...:D :D :D

Ok Diva...
 

How about this one!

Wow are you and Diva doing it again? Ive lost count, has she gotten off 8 or 9 times!

That's a little better ROCK....BUT...




I would say you got alot more work cut out for you!! ;) :) :p

I usually go for a bakers dozen!!! :D :D

sex, sex, sex, don't they know i was made for sleeping on too??!!:D

Kiss
 

Beware the irate mattress.

Remember the horror of the bedspring kiss.

OF

get me to a hospital....

i broke it yesterday!! just a little crack in the wood but i still had to clamp it! :D :D

mine would say - ummmm hello I need some exercise here is that all you ever do is sleep?

Mine too Vamp...maybe our beds should get together? Maybe with us on them? LOL

After mine passed out from shock, it would say
"It's about G**damn time, you two!! What the hell took you so long???":D

One....two....three....four...five

They're back at it again.........When do I get to have some FUN? :(

*bump* this one is fun:p

"Shimmy shimmy coco puffffffffff

Mine would say, "If your parents only knew!!" and ask me why I can never force myself to sleep in the middle of my queen size bed, when I have nobody to share it with all the time! I just automatically make my way to the edge in the middle of the night.

And up until just a few years ago...it would've scolded me and repeated the little thing about the Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. :o

I think I'd just enjoy hearing the box springs going ... "Oh, yeah. OMG, yeah!"

And yet another BUMP!!!!

Gee ... no condoms ... then all I can say is ...

YOU'LL BRING GOOD THINGS TO LIFE. (Sorry GE)

TY SS, I looked for this one allllllll yesterday!!!

"Oh right there...pump harder....there getting that itch...perfect"