The Future of TEXAS!!
 

THE FUTURE OF TEXAS
Please note that Texas is the only state with a
legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American
Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins
president over Bush. We'll miss you too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the
results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks
from Texas are considering takingmatters into our their hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49
states.)

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space
industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with
Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need
for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those
northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....


6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments,
Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola,Intel,
AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor,
Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.


7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer
research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world
and other large health planning centers.


8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas,A&M, Texas Tech,
Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University,
Ivy grows bette in the south anyway


9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need
some more)


10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.


11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and
the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody
down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an
army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can
always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a
couple of Texas Rangers.


12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several
types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from
the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they
taste good. Don't need any food.


This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas
in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't
have.


Now to the rest of the United States under


President Kerry:
Since you won't have the refineries to get gas
for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his
9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk
or ride bikes.


You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your
communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but
since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed, The People in Texas :)

Disclaimer!!---This is NOT a political statement.My retired Marine Officer,
uncle,in Conn.,just sent it to me & I thought that it was funny! Irish

Yes, it is. Everytime you post pro republican/anti democrat jokes to the board it makes a statement Irish. You are entitled to feel how ever you do but you can't say that they do not make a statement.

FYI,My wife & I are registered independants.I was stationed in Texas,& altho
things have,probably,changed,by now,I got the distinct impression,that Texans,thought that the world revolved around them.The joke,was about Texans,not political.I just posted something that my uncle sent to me!If you
think that it was political,that's your opinion!I thought that it was funny!If
you think that it's offensive,then delete it.I really don't care! Irish
P.S.I just learned that I was a liar!

I did not say you are a liar...but you have only posted jokes that portray the democratic party, it's candiate, in a negative light. I am not saying that you support anything but it does say something that you have only posted things that are pro Bush. I have no problem with you posting whatever you think people will enjoy but you can not say it makes no statement because each of the jokes have been intended to belittle a particular group with a particular view.

If I began posting any/all of the anti Bush jokes that I receive then I would be making a statement as well. I just frankly do not think the jokes are worth isolating people. They are not that funny.

It is not my intention to offend you only to point out that by you posting the jokes (consistent and one sided, regardless of where you get them from, you are the one choosing to post them) like this you are indeed making a statement..and if that's not the statement you intended to make then it's a good thing I told you it's the one I am getting.

Also, there is a joke sticky/thread that a lot of joke threads could migrate towards, methinks.

Hmmm, weren't y'all a part of the last attempt? :D
Most of the folks in my neck of the woods thought it was legal then, too.

Texas can become part of Australia. We are a lot alike. *whispers* And cute to.

I think many jokes are slanted and insulting.....and not just to politcal figures either. My daughter who is as blonde as you can get ( no I did not mean that in a detrimental way) lived her teen years through the maze of jokes that made fun of mental aptitude, morals etc.....There are Newfie jokes, polictical jokes, religious jokes,jokes about fat people, bald people. The list goes on forever. Everyone has their own distinct sense of what is humorous. Some jokes are tasteless, tactless and plain insulting to me, but perpetuate howls of laughter from others. So be it! I avoid them if I can and if I read them and don't like them, I just shake my head and move on....maybe the solution is to post jokes in the jokes thread. That way you enter at your own risk and only have yourself to blame if you read them.....:)

I agree completely BIBI and is exactly why I started that jokes thread. Mayhaps I should just be more diligent about moving jokes there. Good point!

These are 12 good reasond why I am glad I'm a Californian. Oh, Santa Monican to be exact.If tEXAS suceeds from the union,Would the rest of us miss it? I doubt it.The only voice of reason from there is Jim Hightower.

Hey I'd swim that river to join that state. I always felt like I was born on the wrong side of the river anyways. *shrugs*

LOL well i liked the joke, politacal or not i liked it LOL

nikki

That the same state could house the Bushes and Bill Hicks is fairly fascinating (particularly if you've heard Hicks).

Got my bags packed and just as soon as I find my car keys, I'll be headin' to Texas......Irish, am I gonna need my passport to get in?...... and yes, i thought it was funny as all get out.....thanks for the laugh.....just my humble redneck opinion, that's all.......

I must say that I agree with this as well. While I do enjoy a good joke & funny story, my opinion would be to post them in the joke thread. I for one sometimes have difficulty just seeing some jokes "just as funny jokes" and not as defaming one group of people or another. Some can be downright hurtfull.


Just my 2 cents!









(I would have used the soapbox, but I don't think Lixy put it back after the last time she used it ;) )

My previous post was written as satire not directed at the state of Texas as we know it.Not the state that borders the Gulf of Mexico,but as the imaginary Texas where everybody with a missdirected political or social view can find like minded refuge and a struggle for it's own sovereignty as a seperate republic.The state that adopted the Bush family when Kinnibunkport Maine didn't sound quite so "macho". The state where a poor black man was dragged to death behind a pckup truck because some goofballs wanted a resurgency of the Ku Kulx Klan. You only have to go to the Sex News dept.to see the struggle for sex education in Texas schools.Actually the idea of having a single place for every Yahooooo to gather and live life the way they see fit isn't such a bad idea.But there would have to be quite a lot of conditions first. Not the least of which would be,having to allow for weapons inspections.