No you forgot to pay your light bill.



After trying your key in the car door 3 times, "Is this even my car"?

No, aliens stole yours and replaced it with an exact duplicate.

After trying a microphone, and getting dead air,
"Is this thing on?"

Yes it is on it is just the operator.


End user asks" were is the any key"?

It's the one just to the left.

Is that rain I hear?

No, it's just that really tall guy next door watering his lawn.

Seeing a man choking he was asked, "Something go down the wrong way?"

No, it was going up ad made a wrong turn.

Is that a mouse in the trap?

No, it's a very small kangaroo.

It is going to rain today?

Nah, there's only a 10% chance of rain. But there's a 90% chance of diarrhea.

Did you dye your hair?

You mean red, green and yellow mixed isn't a natural color for hair?

Got a flat tire? I see the tire jack in your hand.

No, that's my anti-mugging device.

Are all those gift-wrapped packages for Christmas?

No, I just don't like to have people see me store plain old cardboard boxes.

Is it possible that we're within 2 weeks of Christmas?

No, time reversed itself, and it's now two weeks after Christmas.

Are you sure you're a member of [group X]?

I'm not sure I'm sure but surely there must be a sure answer to that question.

Do you use vibrators?