Alley cat ... true tomcat, looking for a pussy cat to wake the neighbors. Let's climb the fence and meow at the moon. I bring the Tender Vittles. You bring the excitement.

44 yr old horny housewife, needs someone to satisfy her every need and hole. I am at 3986 Brown Lane. Ignore sign that say this place is protected by Smith and Wesson, and come in the back door so as to elude the pit bull, in the front yard. And if there is a huge 4X4 truck with mud on it outside, it is probably the owner of the Simth and Wesson.

Wesson oil lover....... seeks partners to wrestle with. :D No experience needed. :D

Can you send me the application?

Yes ma'am. :D

applications wanted........45 yr old divorced bisexual cowgirl needs help on the farm.
Must be aggressive and not afraid to get your hands dirty. Room and board provided.
Only requirements are that you are experienced in rope tying. :p

*laugh* I have references if you're still talking apps

Tying me up? That's what Poppa needs. Looking for a little girl complete with lollypop and pigtails to rope an older man in with her Lolita charms. Nympthettes need only apply. I'll supply the red plaid skirt .... preferably Catholic.

Seeking take charge female person to acquire and secure rambunkcous steed......experience required in handling of steed and training of such, to ensure potent potential is nursed and brought out in an explosive manner at the peak of growth.Working conditions are generally stated as wet and sticky....and one may be exposed to some internal bruising.

Bruising my butt with your hand is what this bad, little girl needs. Looking for a Daddy who is good at doling out punishment and making me feel like the naughty girl I am. Must be authoritive, can lecture me on my behavior and willing to put me in my place.

Bi lady looking for woman that can use a flogger (provided) and who is experienced and can teach me how to be proficient in using a strap on (also provided). You must be a non smoker, but can be short, tall, chubby, busty, flat, etc etc. You must be female.

Female looking for male or female that would love to make videos together.
Equipment and props supplied.

Skilled female labourers required.....must be good with hands...flexible and know the general area....constant interaction required to ensure fulfillment of assigned tasks and complete satisfaction of clients

Clients doubling as lovers wanted. Come in and get your monthly physical. Then go home with me and get your needed satifying :D. I can go for hours due to installing air pump and chamber in my schlong. Just pump me up and stay hard for hours :D
Call Now for free trial!

Damn I feel special!!!!!! My quote on your ^^^^^^^ signature! :)

Very cool indeed!

(now to get back into the game)

Trial is almost over, so how about a hot night out on the town to celebrate? Seeking a hot, fun loving woman for dinner, dancing and maybe more...may also have to be very patient as I may be gone for the next 10-20 years.

Ten to 20 years. Looking for another serial monogomist to cohabitat for at least a decade. Don't worry we can use labels on our property. Intimacy for more than a score of years not wanted. After all, people change. Submit resume and a head shot to 1-800-REAL-IST. Inquiries welcome.