No, it was going up ad made a wrong turn.

Is that a mouse in the trap?

No, it's a very small kangaroo.

It is going to rain today?

Nah, there's only a 10% chance of rain. But there's a 90% chance of diarrhea.

Did you dye your hair?

You mean red, green and yellow mixed isn't a natural color for hair?

Got a flat tire? I see the tire jack in your hand.

No, that's my anti-mugging device.

Are all those gift-wrapped packages for Christmas?

No, I just don't like to have people see me store plain old cardboard boxes.

Is it possible that we're within 2 weeks of Christmas?

No, time reversed itself, and it's now two weeks after Christmas.

Are you sure you're a member of [group X]?

I'm not sure I'm sure but surely there must be a sure answer to that question.

Do you use vibrators?