*hugs* and prayers for all of you and for those reading but not yet ready to post!!

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Thank you.. I just.. I feel it's important for survivors to be able to tell their stories, and bond with people who can understand...

I just wanted to send love, peace and hugs to everyone who has posted. I'm a volunteer in our local sexual assault and domestic violence center, and the one thing that I can say is that instead of lessening my faith in humanity, it has increased it exponentially. I am forever in awe of the amount of strength it takes to survive something so unspeakably horrible, and I admire all of your courage for posting your stories- there are very few people whose lives have not been touched by sexual violence, and even if those folks aren't ready to post, just knowing that they are not alone will help.

(((Hugs)))

All I can say is...


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))

to all.

The first time I was alone late at night trying to make it (walking) to the train station in Chicago. I had to walk several blocks down Michigan Avenue, and most everything was closed where I was walking. My boyfriend (future husband and is black) and I secretly met at a theatre to watch a movie together on our way back to college via train. I was going to see the movie w/him, get to the train station, and just spend the night at the train station until in the morning when it would leave for Carbondale (school). He was staying overnight w/relatives and would be given a ride to the train station in the morning. He was too afraid to let them know he and I were dating, so when they picked them up, he didn't ask them to give me a ride to the train station. Thus, I was left to walk there by myself.

At one point I had 2 men coming toward me on the sidewalk and one coming from behind. They weren't together. The man behind me got to me first and forced me into an alley. The other two men instead then just went around us and kept walking. So I consider myself lucky that it was only one and not 2 or even 3. And I blamed myself for being out in that area that late at night by myself...thought it was my fault for being so stupid.

I never told my boyfriend because I was afraid he wouldn't want me anymore; he was still a member of a very fundamental church at that time. And I never reported it because I figured that I would just be branded a slut because my boyfriend was black...kind of a..well, what do you expect from that kind? type reaction.

This was at the very end of 1967. I was 19. The only time it haunts me is when I am very stressed and feel I don't have any control of my situation; then I relive it in nightmares. Once I feel back in control, they go away.

I was raped when I was in my early twenties by a close friend. Was in university at the time and had suggested that we go back to his place to study. That was fine. Did that a lot in the past and no problems (we were quite close). Unfortunately, I was sick at the time with a bit of a cold/flu and was on some medication. Anyways, it got to the point where he forced me on the bed, etc. I don't remember that much about it these days as I try to move on. It did affect me sexually for some time but starting to come into myself. It also took me a while to trust people (let alone guys) again. I never took any action against it nor told any of my family about it (they would have ripped the guy apart limb from limb).

I applaud everyone's courage who has spoken up in this thread. It takes lots of guts to do that and to face the demon that it is. No one deserves to be hurt or raped or violated. no one

i've never been raped, but i did have a friend that i had been flirty with for take advantage of me during a difficult time. the love of my life had just broken up with me and i went over to be consoled. i was crying and he was hugging me and things happened. maybe it was a rebound thing. but after i thought about it, i felt taken advantage of, when i was at my lowest low. our friendship has never recovered from it.

My gal of decades is a rape survivor. She was assaulted in grade school. It has been one of the most inspiring experiences of my life to have watched her courageously face the issues that this raised and grow in so many ways as a person. It was also an incredible blessing for me to learn lovemaking alongside a woman who was growing in confidence and a feeling of safety as our relationship grew.

Many of the pixies men have expressed admiration for the courage, sensitivity and intelligence of our pixies sisters. The women who have had the courage to post to this thread (and I suspect the many other survivors who read and post here) have given us a great gift in sharing their feelings and experiences.

Pixies provides a completely unique forum for many people to be sexy and sexual while being respected in the full dimensions of their humanity. My thanks and best wishes to all of you.