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-   -   Creepiness at the Christmas party (http://www.pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29680)

scotzoidman 01-01-2007 03:18 AM

Actually, you just missed livening it up...but my 1st response was self-censored when I realised I was blathering from the tequila (my 1st taste of alchyhol in a loooong time)...then I tried to respond to your "I killed the thread" post, when my puter decided it had had enough internet service & wanted to reboot...

Belial 01-01-2007 06:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked Wanda

I dressed in a much more "proper" fashion, and generally always wore a bra. No plunging necklines, short skirts, tummy baring styles or sheer tops.
I NEVER flirted with male employees, (I wasn't out as bi at work, as the Sisters owned and operated the clinic) and never touched or even hugged female employees. This left me the reputation as being a little cold and distant, but so be it.



If you were a man, would you be able to show that much and still maintain respectability? Wear your shirts open down to below the chest, tight shorts? Would it be ok for you to hug employees, or flirt with female employees? I certainly wouldn't be able to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked Wanda

BUT!

I have some MAJOR issues with the Fire Chief story.
I think it is telling, even disturbing, that she supposedly showed favortism not just to lesbians, but to "those who socialized with them"

What I read between the lines is soooo disturbing.

Plain and simple, in that department, if you didn't like lesbians, refused to socialize with them, you didn't get preferential treatment.

Socialize with them as to get to know them as people, and LET THEM GET TO KNOW YOU!!!

NOWHERE does it say that these victims were acted against in some way, that they were harrased, i.e sex for favors, unwanted sexual attention or advances, just that they didn't get any preferential treatment.

Let's flip things a bit, and look at it like this.

A black supervisor shows preferential treatment to those who are black, OR to white, asian or hispanic employees who socialize with with blacks in his company. He shows favortism to those, white or black or other, who make an effort to get to know him, AND EACH OTHER,letting him know who they are, what kind of people they are, and that they are accepting of blacks as supervisors.
So he is demoted and looses his supervisory position.

Please go back and re-read the story, and then re-read everthing I wrote above before you have a fit and call me names.


WW


I see your point, but I disagree. It is still unfair to treat employees preferentially because you like them, or drink with them after work, or chat with them at the water cooler, or because you think they agree with your sexual preference or skin colour. If your employee is accepting of your sexual preference or skin colour to the point where they act in a subordinate manner, that should be all that is required. If I didn't get promoted because I didn't have a beer with the boss, or people who look like the boss, when it was clear that I deserved it on performance, I'd be inclined to take action too.

denny 01-01-2007 02:31 PM

I've read the postings and just want to share my thoughts. Yes, it is definitely sexual harassment. Gender or lifestyle has no bearing on the behavior. While reporting may bring some heat and discomfort to you, it is the right thing to do. I would also counsel your fellow workers to do the same. Perhaps if someone had previously done just this, you wouldn't be in this situation now. Don't pass the problem on, deal with it now. Best of luck, I know this isn't easy. :shrug:

campingboy 01-05-2007 01:59 AM

I have a few personal rules that I follow as a manager.
1) Never drink at any work function.
2) I am there Boss, not a co-worker. I can share some personal life information, take interest in there lives, but I can never be there confidant, best friend, or one of the group.
3) The two foot bubble. Never enter into that space. Shake hands and then back away to keep the comfort zone.

Following these might seem cold and distant but it allows me to manage my staff without them feeling uncomfortable around me. My job is just that, a job. A place of work, not a dating center.


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