What does a damn good weekend contain?

Purple wet nylons

What is a certain pixie's gal wearing right now?

*gasp* It'll NEVER fit!!!

Can you do 2 at once....!!!!!!


black lace thong, ice bucket and chocolates

What is more than 3 "Weight Watchers" points ?

an El Dorado, Elvis and Elviria

What will pick me up on my ride to hell?

Chico and the man

What is the Mexican equivlent of Adam and St(eve)?

Black Sabbath

Who really, really wish they were on the "Osbornes"?

Dough, a ho, and some blow

What are things you find fried at Krispy Kreme???

in one ear and out the other

Why is it during a blowjob you should never turn your head to the side when your lover is going to shoot?

"Speak softly and carry a big stick"

Why mimes would be great in porn?

Wam, bam, thank you spam !!

What Monty Python sketch was too raunchy to be aired?


"Is that your final answer?"

What was the doctors response to the teen's request "I want to be a soprano and sing in this boy's choir for the rest of my life."

the motherboard

What did you call the piece of wood your mother would discipline you with?

with my carrot, and my celery

What did Frosty the Snowman's wife say she used to satisfy herself after Frosty melted away?


a loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter

What I forgot to get at the grocery store as I was starring at the sexy butcher the whole time I was there! :D


Pop-rocks, a blowjob and cpr!

What are two incredible feelings and what you need afterward?


red cloud, thunderbolt and lightning

(TY Murphy!)

How and where do Nebraskians define great sex?

Nails

What should never be scraped on a blackboard?

The Monster Mash.

What the ant thought just before getting stepped on.

The seven dwarfs.

what is the name of Snow White's out call escort service?
( their motto is "the best things cum in small packages" and we've got 7 small packages to choose from")

the Yugo

What is the short form of the expression, "What the f***? Yugo, now!" The expression is ued to provide directions to the partner who flirtsall evening, then say's "NO."

Automatic transmission.

What the waitstaff at Lucky Changs call it when they bring water to the table.

Over drive

What do 18 wheel truckers call sex with the woman driving a sleek little sports car.

Hullabaloo and hovercraft too.

What would the political slogan be if Brian Epstein & Johnny Holliday ran for office in 64?

speedbumps

What all the young teenage girls say is the reason for a "training" bra?

something evil this way comes.

What is it that Mrs. King says when showing off their bedroom to houseguests?

toe rings

What do most Americans say each year as April 15 (Income Tax Day) approaches?


crayons, coloring book, and Prozac

What are the 3 things I reach for directly after the straight jacket is removed?

Toe Jam

What are the hottest new items sold at the internet sex toys shop in the foot fettish section. (that's including toe ring and toe jam since I think toe ring got missed in a same time answering problem)

laughter and the answer "yes".

What does the homecomming queen say to the total dweeb after he asks her out?...usually in the other order.

"A toe injection"

there seems to be a problem here let's try this

What does the homecomming queen say when the class dweeb asks her out? generally in the reverse order yes then laugh

a toe injection

What is the simplest way to say "Open Mouth insert foot"?
(the alternative answer was just tooooooooo easy - lol)

sterile bandage wrap and diaper pins.

what did the Sex Pistol roadie keep in the guitar case for Sid and Johnny?

CBGB's

What letters were left in the bottom of my bowl when I had Alphabits cereal for breakfast?


Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and George W. Bush

Who are the men planning to start WW3?

Turkey, pumpkin and cranberries

What Hester Prynne got instead of the "Stuffing" she really craved on her first Thanksgiving.

Squanto

Who is The Lone Ranger's new sidekick after Tonto ran off with Silver?

A snack or treat, that doubles as a lethal weapon.

What are Peanut butter and jelly sammiches made my way?

~a toothbrush and sunglasses and astroglide:p

What do you need for the best weekend at the beach?

Moaning, screaming and heavy breathing

what is sounds coming from paper thin hotel walls?

~a lizard and bubblegum