Lilith
08-21-2006, 09:11 PM
(gg)
By Matthew Verrinder
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ben had a rough Friday night
picking up women on the Hotel Gansevoort's balcony
after being coldly rejected by two attractive blonds.
The 23-year-old documentary filmmaker, who asked his
last name not be used for fear of ridicule, suffers
from an acute case of "premature ejectulation" --
ejecting himself early from promising conversations
with women for fear of rejection.
Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm
School Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on
seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600
apiece for in early August.
"If I were to look at it objectively, I would feel
really good about it, and then just leave," Ben said.
Ben is not the only man with crippling fears when it
comes to chatting up women. That's why Charm School,
run by an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based company called
Charisma Arts, has no problem finding men who need
intense guidance and fieldwork approaching women at
places like bookstores and bars.
"People think we're teaching guys with no confidence
who are bad with women," said Charisma Arts co-founder
Wayne Elise. "We teach guys how to be themselves in a
very unnatural environment, how to cold approach
strangers and make them comfortable enough to open
themselves up."
Charisma Arts runs weekend Charm School seminars in
New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London and
Sydney. Some students find out about the course from
the company's Web site, www.charismaarts.com.
The Charm School's lesson plan stays away from canned
lines and instructs men to think on their feet when
talking to women, to put their insecurities aside and
react naturally to a women's subtle cues, said Johnny
Saviour, 21, a Charisma Arts instructor.
The class starts on Friday afternoon with the
instructors going over Elise's attraction theory. They
then practice the theory by approaching each other as
if they were women, and they do word association
exercises to get their minds tuned into keeping a
conversation with a woman rolling.
After a night approaching women at a bar or club, the
instructors hold a debriefing the next morning and go
over what the participants did right and wrong. Then
they head out again to hit on more women.
THE MORNING AFTER...
Ben and the five other participants, ranging in age
from 21 to 43, met with their four coaches Saturday at
a McDonald's near Union Square, the morning after a
deflating evening of hitting on women at the
Gansevoort.
Sam, a stocky, recent college graduate from Boston
with shaved head and thick chain around his neck, said
he is tired of sleeping with "drunk chicks" and wants
to learn how to properly "pursue and attain" the women
of his choice.
Tim, 23, a New York piano tuner, said his new
full-time job makes it hard for him to meet women.
"This was something I was willing to splurge on," said
Tim, who also did not want to give his last name. "I
live in a city with millions of women, and I want to
meet some of them."
Ben said that despite his lack of luck with women on
Friday night, he tried to "learn a little from each
interaction."
Forty minutes later, he was standing in a nearby
Barnes & Noble book store, eyeing a small woman in a
hat and glasses who was thumbing through a book. He
sidled up to her and took a book from a shelf near
her, but she didn't notice him and soon walked away
without talking to him.
"A lot of guys defeat themselves right away," Saviour
whispered, looking on. "If he thinks she's not
interested, he'll clam up. That's exactly what
happened."
To get Ben back on track, Savior has him talk to a
male store clerk so he can interact with another
person without pressure. Soon, Ben approaches another
woman but she too walks away without noticing him.
"I feel a bit shaken up," Ben said after his latest
rejection. "There is information coming from a lot of
different places. I feel a bit like a pickup artist."
By the early hours of Sunday at a crowded rooftop bar
on Fifth Avenue, Ben finally has a confident glow.
Other Charm School students are partying on the
fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New
Jersey women.
But Ben, dressed in a dark shirt and slacks and
standing tall in the middle of the crowd, has already
talked to four groups of women by 11:30 p.m., made
some connections and is on the lookout for more.
Just a day into Charm School, Ben says he has begun to
absorb some of its tenets, like honestly justifying to
the women why he has approached them, genuinely
stating their uniqueness, then making slight,
gentlemanly physical contact, like a touch of the arm
at just the right time.
"I would say in terms of last night's performance,
I've definitely found my path to fulfillment," he
said. "Last night I felt uncomfortable, but I've taken
in what they've taught me. I've been myself, and it's worked."
By Matthew Verrinder
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ben had a rough Friday night
picking up women on the Hotel Gansevoort's balcony
after being coldly rejected by two attractive blonds.
The 23-year-old documentary filmmaker, who asked his
last name not be used for fear of ridicule, suffers
from an acute case of "premature ejectulation" --
ejecting himself early from promising conversations
with women for fear of rejection.
Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm
School Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on
seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600
apiece for in early August.
"If I were to look at it objectively, I would feel
really good about it, and then just leave," Ben said.
Ben is not the only man with crippling fears when it
comes to chatting up women. That's why Charm School,
run by an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based company called
Charisma Arts, has no problem finding men who need
intense guidance and fieldwork approaching women at
places like bookstores and bars.
"People think we're teaching guys with no confidence
who are bad with women," said Charisma Arts co-founder
Wayne Elise. "We teach guys how to be themselves in a
very unnatural environment, how to cold approach
strangers and make them comfortable enough to open
themselves up."
Charisma Arts runs weekend Charm School seminars in
New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London and
Sydney. Some students find out about the course from
the company's Web site, www.charismaarts.com.
The Charm School's lesson plan stays away from canned
lines and instructs men to think on their feet when
talking to women, to put their insecurities aside and
react naturally to a women's subtle cues, said Johnny
Saviour, 21, a Charisma Arts instructor.
The class starts on Friday afternoon with the
instructors going over Elise's attraction theory. They
then practice the theory by approaching each other as
if they were women, and they do word association
exercises to get their minds tuned into keeping a
conversation with a woman rolling.
After a night approaching women at a bar or club, the
instructors hold a debriefing the next morning and go
over what the participants did right and wrong. Then
they head out again to hit on more women.
THE MORNING AFTER...
Ben and the five other participants, ranging in age
from 21 to 43, met with their four coaches Saturday at
a McDonald's near Union Square, the morning after a
deflating evening of hitting on women at the
Gansevoort.
Sam, a stocky, recent college graduate from Boston
with shaved head and thick chain around his neck, said
he is tired of sleeping with "drunk chicks" and wants
to learn how to properly "pursue and attain" the women
of his choice.
Tim, 23, a New York piano tuner, said his new
full-time job makes it hard for him to meet women.
"This was something I was willing to splurge on," said
Tim, who also did not want to give his last name. "I
live in a city with millions of women, and I want to
meet some of them."
Ben said that despite his lack of luck with women on
Friday night, he tried to "learn a little from each
interaction."
Forty minutes later, he was standing in a nearby
Barnes & Noble book store, eyeing a small woman in a
hat and glasses who was thumbing through a book. He
sidled up to her and took a book from a shelf near
her, but she didn't notice him and soon walked away
without talking to him.
"A lot of guys defeat themselves right away," Saviour
whispered, looking on. "If he thinks she's not
interested, he'll clam up. That's exactly what
happened."
To get Ben back on track, Savior has him talk to a
male store clerk so he can interact with another
person without pressure. Soon, Ben approaches another
woman but she too walks away without noticing him.
"I feel a bit shaken up," Ben said after his latest
rejection. "There is information coming from a lot of
different places. I feel a bit like a pickup artist."
By the early hours of Sunday at a crowded rooftop bar
on Fifth Avenue, Ben finally has a confident glow.
Other Charm School students are partying on the
fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New
Jersey women.
But Ben, dressed in a dark shirt and slacks and
standing tall in the middle of the crowd, has already
talked to four groups of women by 11:30 p.m., made
some connections and is on the lookout for more.
Just a day into Charm School, Ben says he has begun to
absorb some of its tenets, like honestly justifying to
the women why he has approached them, genuinely
stating their uniqueness, then making slight,
gentlemanly physical contact, like a touch of the arm
at just the right time.
"I would say in terms of last night's performance,
I've definitely found my path to fulfillment," he
said. "Last night I felt uncomfortable, but I've taken
in what they've taught me. I've been myself, and it's worked."