Pixies Place Forums - Welcome to Pixies

Lilith

02-05-2005, 10:57 AM

or maybe not...

We, at one time, were considered a forum that was very accepting of newbies unlike some sites where newbies experience a trial by fire just to speak their minds. Members who had bad attitudes usually didn't hang around, not because we ran them off but because they usually didn't get the attention they wanted. Recently we had a situation where some people felt a fairly new member was being flamed and some did not. Now I've noticed that a post in personals has turned into an opportunity to scold someone for their attitude based on their first post...in my personal opinion...it's easier to just not respond if you are not interested, especially in personals. When the next new member goes to post there to introduce themselves, and they see that, what is the chance they will post without hesitation?

My goal is to always be bringing fresh life to this site...I consider every new member someone who can potentially be a fun active part of this site. While many of them never post a word, I surely don't want our reaction to other members to hinder the chance they will do so. And is why we have never permitted flaming.

The idea here has always been as an inclusive not exclusive group. Some people have expressed in some recent posts that they felt "left out" or that they just never feel like they are part of te group. While I realize that some people never really feel they belong (to anything), I've been wondering what can be done to make newer and even less vocal members feel as "at home" as many of te rest of us do??? How can I make people feel less like a newbie when I don't view them as a newbie anymore???

Anyway, I just wanted you guys to know that this is something that is concerning me. While I've been to sites that really flame people and where flame wars are the common posting rather than the rarity, and we are nothing like those places, I don't like the idea of slowly developing into that sort of place.

I think it's important to be able to express ourselves freely here but that rule has to apply to everyone. We take everything here really personally because we all care so deeply for eachother and that's never a bad thing unless it turns us into a forum where everyone feels the need to have their 2 cents without thinking about how their posts affects the group as a whole, as well as those about to sign up next. Newbies don't know that yet and we really can't expect them to, considering the status quo on many other sites differs from this one dramatically.

Some people feel that controversial or hot topics are taboo here. While that is not a rule, it seems to stem from the fact that often people are unable to express their own view without putting down someone else's. It seems to turn people defensive and just hasn't been successful here often. Feelings get hurt and there are definitely people who can't support their own feelings in any other way than to degrade someone else's. While debate is healthy, raging emotions and confrontational attitudes, are not and it's hard to have one without the other creeping in. But that doesn't mean that if you really want to talk about something, that you shouldn't. It just means be prepared for it to get warm.

I suppose I am just thinking outloud here, and it's probably a mistake before coffee has started working but I just want you to know that I consider the growth of this site crucial to it's existence and that I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make that happen.

If you have views on how I can assist both long-time members and newbies to get the most out of this forum, I'd appreciate hearing them.

possom

02-05-2005, 11:30 AM

I have been around pixies for a couple of years now. Though most people are tried to be made to feel at home, there are always some people you just can't get along with. I don't post much any more, but I felt this one deserved a response. I have been here under some other names, I made a new one to become anonymous. There is, of course, a group of people on pixies that are better friends than others. That is because more time is spent in chat among that group. That doesn't mean anyone is being left out. That just means they have to jump into chat and get with it. I don't feel that anyone should be offended by the pixie-elite group just because they know all about the site and have been online (and in some cases offline) friends for a long time. I do agree that "flaming" someone is, indeed, very wrong. I have been to a few places where I was burned because I was a newbie. Give people a chance to learn the site, learn the programming, then maybe they can get to the point where everyone else is. I know there is a tech support forum here, but maybe there should be a Newbie Instruction Guide too. That would save everyone some trouble (not to mention maybe I could figure out how to get to chat now since I've been kinda out of the loop for a while).

Cheyanne

02-05-2005, 12:04 PM

I think your musings before coffee has set in are right on target Lil .. :D

This has been something that I have been thinking about too. As a member that has been here a while, and I am only speaking for myself, I have a comfort level as far as what and how I post. Other members who have been here a while know my style and how I word things. I think that sometimes I forget that not everyone will understand or even take the "tone" of my posts in the way that I intended to be - especially newbies.

I have, in the past, been vocal about my beliefs. The responses that I received from other members are ones of - ok, I understand that you feel that way - but that isn't how I feel. However, I respect your opinion. That doesn't make you wrong or right. I think that attitude is why we don't have a lot of flaming - especially with the members who have been here a while. And I know that I don't always think about how my post is going to be received because of that.

When I was a newbie (couple of years ago), I made the effort to join the group. I initiated conversations and didn't wait for someone to hold my hand and invite me. I read, read, and read some more to gauge the tone of the people who were participating and patterned what I did after those older members. That, I believe was my responsibility as a newbie. I also recognized that this place had a certain comfort level for all members and didn't make demands to be noticed by posting or creating threads that I didn't think out better.

Those newbies who introduce themselves are welcomed warmly with hopes that they join in by posting and being told by other members that this is a cool place to be. They are encouraged to take a look around and get to know us. I think that is just one thing we can do as older members to make newbies feel welcome. It was their choice to join the site, and it is their responsibiltiy to "gauge the tone" of the people and the place. As older members we can also be more tolerant of newbies too - especially when they first start posting. Many newbies really don't know that this is an international forum and don't understand that some terms or references can be viewed differently by people from different countries. That takes some getting used to ... LOL

Typically, my rule of thumb is to read a thread or post, and if it is in tone that I don't agree with I don't usually respond. However, sometimes I feel the need to put in my 2 cents and I do worry sometimes whether or not it is appropriate and ask for an opion from a mod.... just as you know Lilith... But I do reserve the right to state what I believe - and I do that because of how the majority of members feel here - you have the right to your opinion - that doesn't make it right or wrong and I appreciate that you do have an opinion even if I don't agree with it.

If people feel as if they don't belong I personally can't do more than what I do already. I don't feel like I should change the way I am and bend over backwards for someone who doesn't try to mode what they post after the tone of our home.

Pita

02-05-2005, 12:58 PM

When I was a newbie (couple of years ago), I made the effort to join the group. I initiated conversations and didn't wait for someone to hold my hand and invite me. I read, read, and read some more to gauge the tone of the people who were participating and patterned what I did after those older members. That, I believe was my responsibility as a newbie. I also recognized that this place had a certain comfort level for all members and didn't make demands to be noticed by posting or creating threads that I didn't think out better.

Good thread Lilith and I really agree with what Cheyanne said here. I know when I came here I read much more then I posted so I could get to know the members. Since I wanted to be a part of the Pixie family it was mostly up to me to get to know everyone and let them know me.

Now I love a good debate and since I am a conservative I know that my opinions could often be objected to. I don't feel I have to go shoving my beliefs at people that don't share them. But when I do say something outside of what most people think I don't expect to be flamed. Like Lil I have been on boards where flaming is the norm. The first time I did a post that disagreed with the majority I was nervous. I didn't want to be flamed and not liked. But through that post I met a wonderful friend and we don't let our difference get in the way because we respect each others rights to have our own opinions and beliefs. Everyone I believe should find some common ground and make the effort to get along.

I do also think the ones that are part of this board and feel comfortable should make an effort to embrace a newbie. Which I think most of us do. I have been on many message boards and Pixies has the best sense of family I have seen yet. Not to mention the best moderators which is vital to the well being of any board. :)

Mark Vieth

02-05-2005, 01:01 PM

Yo Lil. Now we all know how my little start went down. I just want to put my view across as to a suggestion on perhaps how to allow a newbie to come in "clean" (so to speak).

Now ok granted my entrance wasn't the most gracefull but we live and learn.
As a introduction into joining, a "code of conduct" page/popup should come up and must be read by the newbie before walking in the door. Showing what will be tollerated and what won't be. More importantly if they need any further help they should be steered towards a mod.

Also perhaps a newbie camp should also be put in place. Where the newbies can have a platform to go from. So they can all "meet" chat and such and such. This platform will also enable them to develop the correct skills/conduct etc for the rest of the site. Also if they have any concerns or they wish to say something but are not sure if it will go down the right way with the rest of the community. Now obviously a mod would be required to watch over the group until such time the mod feels that they have sufficient exposure to venture out on their own.

I know it sounds as if you may be babying them, but it would only be used for those who really are struggling or are raising a few eyebrows.

Having already posted over 100 myself so far I have gotten the "groove" of the site now. Sure I will faulter a bit here and there, but I am past that initial start. So I am not sure if this has helped, but I do hope that it is taken in the correct context.

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 01:41 PM

I've put out more "Welcum to Pixies" than I dare to count! I've replied to introduction threads with enthusiasm and warmth. I enjoy meeting new Pixies and I let them know I am glad that they have posted. I've tried to steer them in the right direction when it comes to "getting to know us".

I've only ever come across a newbie that rubs me the wrong way a handful of times. Hey! We can't love everyone all of the time! And when I get a vibe from someone that doesn't sit right with me, I try to get to the bottom of it. On a few occasions I have said some (IMHO) "diplomatic" things directly in a thread...that could be construed as flaming. In all honesty, if the poster comes off as cocky and a know-it-all...I've tried to "set the record straight" about how we handle things around here. I can count on one hand, how many times I have jumped to the defense of the site and raised a rash of shit over the audacity of a newbie! I think that some people just love showing off their self imposed intelligence or wit...which in some cases comes off as pushy and can be off putting. [We] don't take lightly to someone initiating a mutiny...just as we wouldn't let someone come into our R/L home and try and take over! You can't expect us to never "stick up" for our home away from home!!!!

I can only remember one past Pixie newbie who I could NOT warm up to...or at the very least...not want to kick his ass if we'd ever met in person...lmfao!

You are a people pleaser Lil...and so I can understand your discomfort if it seems someone isn't being treated with kid gloves upon notification that he/she is overwhelming us with their visible pomposity (<---Steph...I used it again...lol!...sorry...inside joke!). We can't possibly be expected to overlook a newbie who is in his/her own bizzaro world! I've even read some posts from you Lil...putting someone "in check" directly in an open forum thread! We have our limits. We are only human. And, most newbies who come here, can see the type of site we are. They can see that this site is so totally different than the others...they can see the love shared amoungst the family of people who make up Pixies.

Those who stay and participate (or even just lurk) are assured that not all who come here are perfect candidates for the "People's Choice Awards"...but that it's the differences that make it so interesting to come back to time and time again! Our "Welcum Mat" is dusted daily...and mostly all of the regulars reach out and extend that personality that is the make-up of the Pixies persona! Everywhere you look in these forums...there is something to smile about. And if a newbie doesn't take the time to look around, even after direction, then I can't say I/we didn't try hard enough!

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch...just as one bad post doesn't deter new faces to peek in and/or join in from time to time. We can lead a newbie to perving...but we can't make em stay if they don't want to!

I don't know that there is anything else I, or [we], can do that we haven't been doing through the years! But, if you want...I'll jump the bones of ALL the new male...oh hell, even the females if they'll have me...newbies for a month of Sunday's. Just to show them the ropes...of course :rofl:

((((((Lilith))))))

Lilith

02-05-2005, 01:54 PM

Thanks for the feedback everyone...just trying to sort some things out. Trust me, I am not a people pleaser at all but I have a job to do and part of that is to try to make everyone happy, comfortable, and at home. I appreciate everyone taking the time to sort of analyze this situation too. I too have been amazed at the small number of problems we have had. Thanks again for the feedback.

Lilith

02-05-2005, 02:02 PM

I know there is a tech support forum here, but maybe there should be a Newbie Instruction Guide too. That would save everyone some trouble (not to mention maybe I could figure out how to get to chat now since I've been kinda out of the loop for a while).

We do have a guide (http://216.150.92.84/forums/showthread.php?t=13468)but I can't force peeps to read it :p

maddy

02-05-2005, 02:31 PM

Lil, your last post hits upon most of my thoughts while reading this. You can have rules, guides, instructions, a detailed map of how Pixies operates, but there is nothing to force anyone to read it. C'mon how often does everyone read through a "user agreement" before clicking the check box at the bottom? Maybe everyone is more attentive than I am, but I surely don't consistently take the time to read all guidelines on a website.

As someone who has recently said that I often still feel like a newbie, I don't think that is anything that can be changed by the mod team or membership. I've been around for a year, not posted a ton, but pop in daily and read through the threads. Often I don't voice a comment to each thread I read for a multitude of reasons. The fact that I have a bit of a newbie feel doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, afterall, as I said, I pop in daily to read the threads, if I was uncomfortable I wouldn't return. Part of the beauty of humanity is that we are all different. I would encourage newbies to be reasonable - while this may be an escape from reality, it isn't so far removed from reality to not have a human touch. As such, human touch that is felt face to face is likely to be the same here. I don't expect to become instamatic soulmates with the person I brush shoulders with at WalMart, so it's unrealistic for me to expect that here. Unfortunately, as there is beauty in difference, some difference isn't so beautiful as some people simply have unrealistic expectations. And as Lixy said, everyone can't embrace everyone all the time.

Honestly, I really don't think there is anything additional that can be done to be a more embracing forum for newbies. I presume, that when someone is a bit out of touch, someone takes the opportunity to PM that person and try to give them guidance, but it is up to the individual to accept the guidance being offered.

In summary, I feel everyone does their best to create an open and welcoming environment, but there is no point in trying to please 100% of the people 100% of the time. If nothing else, maybe this thread serves as an effective reminder of what Pixies is all about and can cause reflection upon our behaviors and individual changes put into place where necessary.

boilergirl1

02-05-2005, 02:31 PM

We can lead a newbie to perving...but we can't make em stay if they don't want to!

I don't know that there is anything else I, or [we], can do that we haven't been doing through the years! But, if you want...I'll jump the bones of ALL the new male...oh hell, even the females if they'll have me...newbies for a month of Sunday's. Just to show them the ropes...of course :rofl:

((((((Lilith))))))

you are doing just fine lilith as far as i acn tell you and the others have been nothing but helpful and loving with me and if i haven't said so B4, then i will now THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME IN THIS FAMILY
peeks around corner.......

you can jump my bones lixy, >tries to look shy and newbie-ish enough<
"if you'll have me, that is". :) :sun:

boilergirl1

02-05-2005, 02:35 PM

hope i'm not out of line .........

Lilith

02-05-2005, 02:38 PM

LOL If Lixy is volunteering to be the ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm welcome wagon....most of the people registered here are gonne re-register and start off new :p

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 03:17 PM

you can jump my bones lixy, >tries to look shy and newbie-ish enough<
"if you'll have me, that is". :) :sun:
/me pounces bg1's bones and hugs her tightly! You're not out of line at all sweety! I hope you'll always feel free to post such complimentary posts! geezzzzzz...I'm blushing at just how sweet this response made me feel! :x: TY hun!

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 03:19 PM

LOL If Lixy is volunteering to be the ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm welcome wagon....most of the people registered here are gonne re-register and start off new :p
Now that's the spirit! Let's get some "bone jumpin" going on!

We got this party started...right?

:line: forms at my left...and right...and back...and front! *giggle*

boilergirl1

02-05-2005, 03:25 PM

Now that's the spirit! Let's get some "bone jumpin" going on!

We got this party started...right?

:line: forms at my left...and right...and back...and front! *giggle*
long as i'm at the front of the line i don't care who else joins ~~giggles and huggles lixy back, hmmmm nice ass....~~ *giggles and fondles ass*~~ :x: :devilish:

Scarecrow

02-05-2005, 04:46 PM

Hi Lixy I'm new here so I'll just get in line next

:jump: :devilish:

Sharni

02-05-2005, 05:53 PM

If you have views on how I can assist both long-time members and newbies to get the most out of this forum, I'd appreciate hearing them.
As a long term member myself....heres my 5c worth

Any newbie that makes the decision to come out and join us, and posts badly so to speak, should be taken by the hand and lead in the right direction....not bashed over the head!

Patience is required with any learner...you can still point em in the right direction and state you displeasure...but at least be nice about it...they can then learn from your example of manners.

If they continually post badly and are not learning then a MOD will take there hand and be a bit more forceful in the learning process....if after that they continue their path of destruction then the MODS will take furth action

I know ya want to rally the wagons and defend ya home ground (been there a few times myself) but i've been thinking very hard and long for quite a while...if we want Pixies to survive we NEED new blood

I've noted first hand what some newbies have been through.....we are saying come out and play with us...but DONT FUCK IT UP...cause we'll eat ya for dinner...damn scary i can tell ya

If we want em to post then we gotta give em a chance to learn the ropes

Cheyanne

02-05-2005, 06:01 PM

^^^^ Inflation.. :D 2 cents has gone up to 5 cents.. :p

Sharni

02-05-2005, 06:04 PM

We dont have 2c coins here anymore *L*

5c is our lowest :D

BIBI

02-05-2005, 06:11 PM

. :wine: .....thinks I will sit this one out and just get drunk :)

Lilith

02-05-2005, 06:16 PM

/me pours BIBI a mudslide...

we still have pennies....I've been wondering how much longer though

Cheyanne

02-05-2005, 06:16 PM

Sharni.. :x: ^^^^^ LOL...there ya go! Another example... I have got to get out of my cave more often....

There is also another example of how what is posted could possibly be misread... had I not put the smiles in there and had Sharni been a sensitive person she could have taken what I posted to be sarcasm and a personal affront. But, because I did put the smiles in, and even if I didn't, because Sharni knows I was teasing her, all is well.

I still don't know all the ropes.. those damn knots confuse the hell out of me.. :hair:

tgisober

02-05-2005, 06:23 PM

I have been chewed up and spit out in the chat room and I still don't know what the fuck i am doing!!

Sharni

02-05-2005, 06:26 PM

^^^^ feel free to PM me and ask questions if ya want

Cobalt

02-05-2005, 06:54 PM

I normally wouldn't post on this type of thread, but , this time I will.
This is how I handle Pixies, I come here read the post I want to read, only if they interest me then maybe post( only after I have thought out how what I have to say could be taken if read differantly than intended, if I can't think of a way to write it to be safe so to speak, I just leave the thread and don't post), then go on to a post on one that I feel like posting on. I admit I mostly drool over the pics posted (damned irritating when sexy women post new pics and I can't get then to open, grrrrrrrrr) and I don't post on most of them caise I don't want to upset anyone, even though I thouroly(sp) would love to tell them how much I like there post. I call it my for sure way of getting along with most everyone here. When I was a newbie, there where a few times that I was jumped on, even by PM's raking me over the coals so to speak for what I posted, that is partly why I choose to perv here in the fashion that I do. I go by the theory that if you nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all, but that is just how I do it. I feel that if a Pixie member is upsetting the members, that it is the job of the mods to take care of it, not mine. Unless they really go over boardwith what they are posting, then I might post my opinion, and that is all it is, take it or leave it. I feel if you don't like a post don't go into it, no one is forcing you to read it. LOL, for someone that hardly ever posts, I got long winded here, and I hate to type. LOL

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 07:08 PM

As a long term member myself....heres my 5c worth

Any newbie that makes the decision to come out and join us, and posts badly so to speak, should be taken by the hand and lead in the right direction....not bashed over the head!

Patience is required with any learner...you can still point em in the right direction and state you displeasure...but at least be nice about it...they can then learn from your example of manners.

If they continually post badly and are not learning then a MOD will take there hand and be a bit more forceful in the learning process....if after that they continue their path of destruction then the MODS will take furth action

I know ya want to rally the wagons and defend ya home ground (been there a few times myself) but i've been thinking very hard and long for quite a while...if we want Pixies to survive we NEED new blood

I've noted first hand what some newbies have been through.....we are saying come out and play with us...but DONT FUCK IT UP...cause we'll eat ya for dinner...damn scary i can tell ya

If we want em to post then we gotta give em a chance to learn the ropes
Sharni? When we agree, we agree...but when we disagree I know I'd better duck when I have said my piece! LOL...*hugs*

I am about to duck...but not after I say this...

Mods aren't the know all and end all of this site! We are a community. and might I add, no mod was ever elected...but put into their position by the mods before them. I respect a mods position and appreciate all they do for us. I know it's a hard job...but [we] didn't ask you to take it. You took it for your own personal reasons. If I had my druthers...it'd be more diplomatic. But that's not saying that I wouldn't vote for everyone who is already in office...it's just to say that I don't like to be made to feel lesser the member because I am not a mod! We were ALL members first!

As I feel that most of your words are true and from the heart and I feel your caring...I get a feeling of double standard when it comes to who says what to who in some of these situations that bring up this very topic from time to time! What I mean is...it's ok for mods to say whatever they have to/want to say in a any thread. But mere members are expected to hold their tongue and only voice their disgruntled opinions to mods. This makes me feel like a "tattle tale, trouble maker, bitchy, whiney, OMG...here she comes again" kind of person...instead of the (sometimes) tactful, eloquent, articulate, diplomatic till you push my buttons to bursting kinda person I strive to achieve when I visit the site.

I get the feeling that I am being chastised if I've a notion to say something to a new member that I have no idea will spark an iron fist from a mod. It'd almost be easier to send a sample post in PM to a mod before making a statement in a thread.

I agree...sometimes [we] can get a bit overprotective and harsh. But, we are who we have always been till we feel a threat to the site...and if taking someone down a peg was a crime...you and I would be in "the dungeon" forever!

Final case in point...on behalf of mere members...

We know nice...and we know ignorant (and all that the meaning of the word entails)...and we tolerate one more than the other time after time! We don't purposely chase new members away! I feel backed into a corner here and I've a need to defend the majority.

If you sum up the posts of welcomes and helpfulness...against the posts of harsh reprimand and a "pack" attitude...you've got to admit...we ARE one great bunch of diverse people on any site EVER! So...not everyone loves every newbie to come and visit us! For the most part...the good outweighs the bad and we always open our arms to the good. To be told, time after time, of only our faults...as few as they are...instead of pointing out the all over good with the everyday participation...well...that bites! Plain and simple! That we keep getting told that it's great that we love this place, but don't dare stand up for it in the few times that we feel a need...well that bites too!

*jumps off the soapbox...ducks and runs so fast you can't even see my ass to spank it*

Sharni

02-05-2005, 07:14 PM

Mods aren't the know all and end all of this site! We are a community. *
I never said the Mods were....

Like it or not this IS a moderated site

Sharni

02-05-2005, 07:17 PM

double standard

Nope dont agree there.....i get a rap over the knuckles the same as any other member believe me!

Sharni

02-05-2005, 07:19 PM

I get the feeling that I am being chastised if I've a notion to say something to a new member that I have no idea will spark an iron fist from a mod. It'd almost be easier to send a sample post in PM to a mod before making a statement in a thread.

The people who post unacceptable posts will be spoken to...dont care who you are

Sharni

02-05-2005, 07:22 PM

Final case in point...on behalf of mere members...
Not me making any segregation between members and Mods....i've stated on many occassions i was a member first and alway will be

Again any time i've spoken badly i HAVE been taken to task for it!

Sharni

02-05-2005, 07:24 PM

I feel backed into a corner here and I've a need to defend the majority.
Sorry you feel this way...that was not my intention

Again it goes back to the fact that all else can have there say and its all good....Sharni has hers and it gets taken personally by someone...

My post above was NOT pointed at you as far as i know

My opinion should be just like any one elses

Lilith

02-05-2005, 07:33 PM

There are no "mere members", we are a community, and such as that, we all answer to someone when the need arrises. It's those same people we turn to for advice and counsel when we are unsure of the path we should take. Sometimes advice is solicited and sometimes it comes along even when we don't think we need it and certainly don't want it. I get feedback and answer to the owners but I also get feedback and answer to everyone else in the community. That's why I occasionally ask you about areas that I want to improve upon or to help me find a solution to something I see as a problem. I can do nothing alone.

maddy

02-05-2005, 07:58 PM

I feel a bit PF'ish as I post this, and he should be proud of what I'm about to say...

Both the mods in this post mentioned the need for new blood to keep the site alive and thriving (in so many words) ... seeing it said once just made me note and move along, seeing it said twice made me raise an eyebrow. On to the PF'ish comment...

Are there some sort of statistics kept somewhere that I don't know about (or don't have access to) that are showing a decline in new members or something of the sort? Or are the comments made merely as comments but not as scientific findings?

I'm just curious really and somewhat intrigued (its the geek in me) to know if there is something that the mod team is really concerned about numbers-wise.

Lilith

02-05-2005, 08:05 PM

I can get my hands on stats and everything is fine (great even). I think I just always speak of needing new members because unfortunately the real world sometimes has a way of stealing members away. Also because I like to learn about new people and hear new opinions. It's fascinating to me that there is a woman is almost ;) the same age as me, who lives halfway across the world from me who loves Orli, and another north of me who travels the world for her job and yet we all love sex, and share our experiences with eachother. How many times do you guys wanna hear the story about me having sex with my boyfriend on the hood of his Cougar?????????????? :spin: New people bring new perspective and new tales.

maddy

02-05-2005, 08:11 PM

Wonderful, and I truly appreciate your sentiment for new people, new friendships, new experiences. It's something that I look for in the places I choose to "hang" on the internet. One of the reasons I like Pixies so much, it's amazing the things you can learn from others when you choose to open your mind to it. Thanks for clarifying for me :)

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 08:11 PM

But that's not saying that I wouldn't vote for everyone who is already in office...it's just to say that I don't like to be made to feel lesser the member because I am not a mod! We were ALL members first!

That's the essence of what I meant by my statement. Always knew it was a moderated site. Never disputed it, even. Mods are members, first and foremost, and then they have all those special buttons to push! Does it make a mod wiser or better than [us]? It does if the mod[s] thinks it does! I happen to believe that we are equal...yet separated by a few extra buttons.

I'm not trying to push your buttons Sharni! I'm trying to make a point! That is...with all the members who choose to post, be it a newbie or a regular, the very few who get trampled just might deserve it! Weigh the sides. I think you'll have to admit...the good outweighs the bad! [We] don't flame or bash every newbie, everyday. So happens some stand out more than others...and this is the kind of thread that ensues!

I've finally gotten tired of being told how to conduct myself/ourselves when the conduct of another is so questionable I can't understand the concern for them above [us]! It's not as if everyone who comes through the door is trashed. Those who take the time to peruse the site will understand/absorb that, and we have to trust that we aren't the intelligence squad of everyone who opens our door!

I cannot imagine that everyone here would take this "be kind to everyone, no matter how big an asshole they might come off as time after time" attitude in your real life! If you were honest...you'd either flip them off, shout your first thoughts, or turn on a heel and not give them a second chance to make a good first impression! Because we know how to conduct ourselves in a cordial manner...we give first, second, and sometimes third chances (especially at the request of a mod) before we throw our hands in the air and let our freak flags fly.

I dunno! I just know...my initial feeling upon entering this site was awe and peace. I had found a group of really great people and I wanted to spend time with them. I posted with enthusium...and when I felt I might be getting out of hand (posting madly...with no direction), I asked for guidance...and heeded that help with reverance and appreciation. I'm an advocate of feeling that most peeps think on my wavelength...and then there are the others...lol! From one extreme to the other...I can open my mind to nearly anything except perpetual assholiness (word?...is now)! Then I have to stand up for [our] cause...no matter the consequence!

I'd better get to the dungeon. I know I am expected!

Lilith

02-05-2005, 08:29 PM

LixyChick

02-05-2005, 08:47 PM

assholiness is indeed a word...coming from the rootword assholio :D which means someone who is such an asshole that they are not even worth the aggravation :D or at least that is what Summer assured me one time when I was upset
Oh...cool! I almost logged it into my Lixtionary. But, since Summer already has it Summerized...there is no need to duplicate the notation!

*lmfao*

TY Lil! See? You do learn something everyday here at Pixies!

Bilbo

02-05-2005, 10:44 PM

Same ol', Same ol' :rant:

Seems this debate will never end!

Well there is my next twelve months of pixies hit over with for another year.

I now know why I stay away!

cowgirltease

02-05-2005, 11:48 PM

Lilith, I didn't bother to read anyone elses post before I say what I'm about to say. First ,I love you and all of the other pixies with all my heart. This is my home. I have a problem as you know with political issues on this forum. I feel this topic is too heated to be on a sex forum. I'm sorry but I'm telling you how I feel. This is my "feel good" place. My escape from reality. As far a being "part of the pack" I've heard it called..... I have over 200 pixies on my yahoo messenger. I'm not by any means bragging. All I'm saying is the pack is pretty damn big! It's not a "select few" for me as people may think. I love ya all!
My second problem........ Mistress whats her name came in an immediately started talking down to people(she didn't last long I know ) so why should anyone else be allowed to?
Whatever happened to being nice and respectful? There is NO EXCUSE for bad manners.
Thats what makes us who we are. We care about each other even in our personal lives. We as you said before "groove on one another"
Thats a helluva lot different than some one saying "gimme" I want to get off. :rolleyes2
This is a sex forum not a slut forum.
I have feelings just like everyone else. I don't care if you're bi or straight. Treat me with respect and you'll get the same from me.
I don't know what to tell you..... I feel it too. But we can't let people come in here and talk to us like we are shit under their feet either. The day that starts happening I'm outta here.
I guess this ones up to you guys. I would like to make a suggestion tho. Flaming doesn't say much to me. I think it needs to be put in more descript words whats expected out of a member. What they can and cannot say to people here.
And Yes we are different from any other forum and I'm damn proud of it! :cheers:

P.S. To all the newbies out there.....
You don't have to get cocky to fit in here at pixies. Just be nice thats all.:)
You'll find more friends than you can shake a stick at.;)

cowgirltease

02-06-2005, 12:12 AM

I have been chewed up and spit out in the chat room and I still don't know what the fuck i am doing!!
Awww you love us and you know it. :D

LordMagicMan

02-06-2005, 12:54 AM

Personally I like it here, I might not post much but that isn't because i feel i'll be violated or put down, its just the way I am. Thank you for having this site, i enjoy it alot!

osuche

02-06-2005, 12:55 AM

I know this is going to be a long post....so I admire anyone who actually reads through it all. I guess I am feeling a bit Lixy-like this evening.....My body clock is set somewhere over South Dakota, and I flew about 2600 miles today....and had one too many scotches en route. ;)

First, on feeling comfortable on pixies (here's another bulleted list for ya, wyndhy):
* There are some cliques here, and it took me almost 15 months to feel "at home" here -- two events made it happen....(1) IAKG's patient friendship, and (2) meeting Aqua (which seemed to soften a couple of people up. :p )
* Sometimes I still feel left out, even though I have 13K+ posts and I am one of 10 most prolific posters on the site.
* I *know* I am different than most members -- and I have learned to sometimes hold my tongue, but often my difference from the group has kept me coming back. Where else can you meet suuch a diverse group of basically good people?

Thoughts on Pixies in general:
* We can be a surprizingly conservative group. I've seen lots of people flamed for disrespect. questionable sex practices, infidelity, deflowing virgins, and the like. Our response often depends on tone.......Howeever, it has often struck me that we are a curiously conservative group for a sex site. :spin:
* There are an amazing number of people here with some of the deepest and most wonderful hearts I've ever met...and this keeps me coming back.
* It bothers me that some topics like politics are paux pas in Pixies. I think these topics -- properly labeled -- should be open game. If CGT doesn't want to read them (or anyone else!) then oyu don't need to. :D ((I say this as kindly as I can. I rarely look at pics because many of them do not interest me....If I don't want to see them, I just don't open the threads.))
* I think sometimes this site can be a bit "dummed down." There are a few of us on the site who are engineers, intellectuals, politics, current events, science lovers, and the like. I almost *never* start a thread in one of these topics, because it ***always*** gets ignored or hijacked. I feel like it's *uncool* to be a smart or politically aware Pixie, and that seems like a damn shame to me. :(

I've welcomed many new members, and I love new blood here. There are very few Pixies I dislike (although I am sure more than a few dislike me. HaHa). I *have* occasionally flamed someone -- I did it recently (about a week or so ago) I believe. I've never checked with a mod before a post, and to my knowledge have only had one post removed because of the content that I posted. I think the mods do a grand job in this department, and I thank them all for their time and thoughtfulness.

(((((hugs to all)))))

BIBI

02-06-2005, 02:22 AM

:wine: Thanks for the mudslide Lil

scotzoidman

02-06-2005, 03:07 AM

assholiness (word?...is now)!
I first heard the word in the 70's satirical sex flick (say that 5 times real fast!) "Flesh Gordon & the Sex Ray" ...was used as a form of address to the evil Dr Wang by one of his soldiers, as in, "Your Assholiness"...my wife, friends, & myself immediately seized that as the perfect title to bestow on a certain sawed-off egomaniaical guitar player we knew...

& yeh, I'm hijacking this thread, Take me to...uh, someplace warm I guess...
:ahole:

Oldfart

02-06-2005, 06:48 AM

I've been here a long time, but dip my lid to Sharni and a few others.

Any threads I don't feel drawn to, or feel I can't enter without creating more shit than I'm

ready to shovel, I decline to enter.

We have had some brilliant new blood, and others who bore themselves to death in hours.

We will always have differences, but we need to harness the diversity and revel in it.

We have moulded the site into a particular shape, and anyone who can't cope with our

shape, colour, flavour and philosophy range can go elsewhere.

Oldfart

02-06-2005, 06:50 AM

Cheyanne, yay!

Osuche, never felt negatively towards you, just jealous of your spontenaity and

joy of life.

BIBI

02-06-2005, 08:17 AM

I first heard the word in the 70's satirical sex flick (say that 5 times real fast!) "Flesh Gordon & the Sex Ray" ...was used as a form of address to the evil Dr Wang by one of his soldiers, as in, "Your Assholiness"...my wife, friends, & myself immediately seized that as the perfect title to bestow on a certain sawed-off egomaniaical guitar player we knew...

& yeh, I'm hijacking this thread, Take me to...uh, someplace warm I guess...
:ahole:

Thanks scotz....lol. I knew I heard it somewhere but for the life of me I couldn't remember.

:)

Master Scribe

02-06-2005, 08:37 AM

I have read and re-read this thread and while I am a new member I have to say that upon my first visit to the chat room I was made to really feel welcomed and it seemed quite real. I am a regular at another chat site where I also post my stories and after about 6 months I started to feel like I was really part of the group. Not here however...........afer my first visit I felt that I had found a great place to chat and visit and I think that is due to the warm welcome I had from Chey as well as from several others.

I also think that age is very much a part of how a person is accepted, with age come knowledge as well as understanding and most important patience. Waiting to learn about people, getting to know them either through their postings or by listening in the chat room. To many time people approch chat as well as posting sites like they are not real places and that the basic rules of social interaction do not apply. They treat these places as if they are there for their personal convenence (sp) and will just go away when they log off. As for me, as well as for many others I am sure we look at Pixies, and other sites, like ...well a coffee shop where we can all get together and interact. socialize and make friends....(at least I hope so).

Anyway that is my way of looking at the whole thing for what it is worth.
Robert
aka Master Scribe

MilkToast

02-06-2005, 09:32 AM

I've seen a lot of comments pass by in this thread and have found it somewhat enlightening into the character of some our posters. So there is definetly some good coming from the thread.

As for the topic at hand, albeit somewhat modified, I find that I do look at a lot of the posts/threads that are here. If I find that one catches my eye I usually read through the whole thing and then keep up with it on a dalily basis. Only occasionally do I actually post anything. That's just a product of my personallity. I have found that in most cases I have not managed to agravate other Pixes too much (at least I think so :)) but I strongly try to adhere to the "if you have nothing nice to say..." rule as well.

The one thing that I can say is that in some cases when the originating poster is asking for advice/opinions they should be more than expecting to hear something that they are not going to like. You've all heard it before, "Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one." And if you ask for someone's opinion then when you get one that does not necessarily give the answer you may have been looking for you probably should consider it to see if there are any merits to it.

I can only recall a few instances where a newbie has gotten "jumped" by the group here and, best I can recall, they, in my opinion, had it coming.

As a second part of this post I would still like to re-iterate that although we all do like the fact that this is a community that we come visit. The fact is that it is a moderated site and that in the end if the mods need to be somewhat dictatorial then I support that as well. I do not always like what they do but I do support it. It is because of their hard work that a place like this can continue to be what it is. I have stated this opinion more than once before here and I still stand by it.

In any case, I'm off to see about getting some coffee...
-Toast

PalaceGuard

02-06-2005, 09:32 AM

Lilith

02-06-2005, 10:25 AM

Thanks everyone who has taken time to read and post. I appreciate everyone who took the time to formulate a response and send kisses to the highjackers on this flight. The insight on how you see Pixies and in some cases how you see yourself or others as part of a whole has made for an interesting read. Thanks again.

WildIrish

02-06-2005, 12:58 PM

I remember what it feels like to be a newbie. I see it all the time at Habitat. One of my obligations is to embrace new people. Welcome them into the fold, so to speak. Who doesn't remember at some point being the one walking into a place not knowing too many people and not really sure of yourself? Remember how comforting it was when someone smiled, said "hi" and shook your hand? Or how upsetting it was when no one did?

I try to say "hi" to people that introduce themselves. I guess I could be a little more diligent about it though. Thanks for the gentle reminder, Lil.

LixyChick

02-06-2005, 12:59 PM

Hi Lixy I'm new here so I'll just get in line next

:jump: :devilish:
EVERYONE! Watch and learn!

Hiya Scarecrow! Welcum to Pixies hun! I'm so glad to see you posting right out of the box! You are going to love this place, of that I am sure! Beings this is a sex site, per say, I feel obligated to show you the ropes.

*walking towards the scarecrow while unbuttoning my blouse...my breasts bounce free and a smile comes to his...um...well...there could be a sewn on mouth there...yeah, there is!...and a smile comes to his mouth and his button eyes light up (as light as buttons can get, I spose...lol!)...I take his straw hand and put it on my right waist and take his other straw hand and put it on my left waist...and reach down to his farmer's jeans and unbutton the button and unzip them in one fell swoop...his straw stuffing falls out and I can see he is excited to be here (can't I?????)...I pull him close so that our bodies are touching and my breasts are rubbing his crunchy chest...(omg...lol!)...his straw hands fall to my bottom and, albeit a little scratchy, the feeling is good to the touch...we hold our position for a few tender moments and I suddenly realize just how long he's been "outstanding in his field", as I feel the moisture from his straw leaking down my thighs...I pull back and smile and kiss his sewn lips and lead him off to get restuffed and have a look around*

*giggle, snort*

Sorry guys...but I just couldn't let Scarecrow's reply go unanswered.

Lil? Do you have a robo-spanker in the dungeon? I've heard they can be pretty intense (sexually exciting with some pain to boot!) and if we get any input as to our punishment...I'd like that one please!!!????

Oh...and scotz? TY! Yes! I remember that movie now (vividly)...and I guess Summer and I have some splainin to do about our plagiarizing (Oh No! Is that a word?...is now!) LOL!

OK...I'm done! This ain't a real hijacking cause I have no weapons...so there! *raspberries* :rofl:

Scarecrow

02-06-2005, 01:33 PM

:faint:

LixyChick

02-06-2005, 01:41 PM

:faint:
Oh No! Anybody have a large stick I can shove up this scarecrows' ass? He's fallen and I can't prop him up!

Yes...I know! I'm getting out of hand now!

*exit...stage left*

cowgirltease

02-07-2005, 12:22 AM

Mae

02-07-2005, 12:27 AM

Hello. I post occasionally on Pixies and sometimes with strong opinions. Brevity is a trait I acquired during my journalism days. There were some rough patches in the beginning, and occasionally I slip. Lilith or Sharni will make some suggestions, point me in the right direction or remind me of policy. When I post in a thread, I try to read as many of the postings in it, to get the feel of what is happening with that thread. Would humor or seriousness be more appropriate? Is a kind word needed? Should I let my own feelings influence my posting there? I cannot post with regularity because my free time is at odd times. Anyway, I just wanted to tell it as I see it. Thank you.

cowgirltease

02-07-2005, 12:34 AM

I don't visit pixies as often as I used to, but I have never felt rejected, even when I was a newbie. I've not agreed with other pixies, but I've never been rude to them and they've never been rude to me. I'd guess if peple did not post harsh words, they wouldn't get treated the same.

..just my :cents: worth

PS - as for the harsh words...I've already seen it here today. Little wonder there are tensions!
I hate to tell you this but not all pixies are angels. I've had my fair share of rude PM's I've just never done anything about them. I guess thats why I'm getting so touchy in my old age. :rolleyes2

cherrypie7788

02-07-2005, 12:35 AM

I'm not quite a newbie here, but I remember back when I was and I have to say that I have NEVER felt unwelcome or left out. If I had've felt that way, I wouldn't be here now. I've never been flamed, either. Not that I remember. We all have little spats and disagreements, but you have to pick up and go on with things.

When a newbie posts something that's nothing short of infuriating, he/she has to expect to be flamed. Just my 2c.

I hesitated to post in this thread, but I have to say that I couldn't agree more with what oldfart posted.

I've been here a long time, but dip my lid to Sharni and a few others.

Any threads I don't feel drawn to, or feel I can't enter without creating more shit than I'm

ready to shovel, I decline to enter.

We have had some brilliant new blood, and others who bore themselves to death in hours.

We will always have differences, but we need to harness the diversity and revel in it.

We have moulded the site into a particular shape, and anyone who can't cope with our

shape, colour, flavour and philosophy range can go elsewhere.

maddy

02-07-2005, 08:35 AM

Osuche tell me one thing....... What good has ever came from a political thread at this site? None! All it ends up being is a bunch of name calling. If I were to say something I didn't like about the english government or the chinese gov't. then I'd be labeled prejudice or racist now wouldn't I? Yes, I know you're trying to be civil about this and so am I. Btw I've always liked you and I know you are a very smart lady and I admire you. But STILL this IS a SEX forum. Why do we want to invite discussions that we know cause tempers to flare?

Pardon my rude interruption, as I'm not osuche, but felt compelled to throw in a response...

I've never quite understood the concept of why political or other contorversial yet intellectual topics were taboo or become heated quickly. I understand that the underlying tone of pixies-place is erotica and sexuality, but if that is all that it was intended to be, with no furhter expansion, why do we have a forum that is titled "GENERAL CHAT" with the subtitle chat about anything here ? I see plenty of threads sprinkled across the forum that are non-sex related, yes a sexual innuendo may be added to the thread, or a flirt and a tease, but the underlying tone of the thread isn't necessarily sex. These threads aren't cast aside or complained about. The only thing I see wrong with the political threads is that people are passionate at pixies-place. And oftentimes passion prevents us from being most civil to one another, as it causes us to speak straight from the heart. Would it be such a wrong thing for citizens of our world to be passionate about politics of our locale and the world? Goodness something just might change with knowledge and passion.

Now maybe I'm out of line here, and if so, I'm confident someone will let me know. I understand that there are political forums that I could go to and have discussions until the end of time, but perhaps I just enjoy the company of pixies-place more and I enjoy listening/reading the ideas of these sexy people. I can't help but agree that if someone is offended by a topic or feels the needs to scream at the top of their lungs because of the contents that they could just as easily avoid the thread as they could scream. We are all adults and capable of making choices.

I personally, don't take enough time to become as educated as I could about politics within my country or globally, and thus am not quick to respond to the threads, but to the point that an intellectual and informative discussion is being had, I enjoy reading and learning it from my pixies rather than some drone of a news reporter.

Those are my :cents: , and I don't expect to be agreed with universally but hope that my thoughts also aren't offending to anyone as that certainly isn't my intent.

:rant:

Pita

02-07-2005, 09:16 AM

Just to respond to Pixies having controversial threads. I have no problem with it and would enjoy seeing more. Pixies is like family in so many ways and families discuss, debate and yes even rant at one another about a variety of topics. I believe debate is healthy and if done with respect for the person and not attacking them but the topic people can learn from each other.

I don't want to go to other boards to discuss hot topics with strangers. I would rather do it here with people I know and like. Even if we have very different view points on a certain topic doesn't mean we can't agree on other issues. That's what keeps us all interesting and unique. :)

jseal

02-07-2005, 10:44 AM

Lilith,

Pixies Place is not perfect, and it cannot be. It is, at the same time the most accessible and accommodating site of which I’m aware. It is unusual for a member to “go after” another member or to disfigure a thread, and even then usually only when provoked. Not unheard of, but very unusual.

It will never be possible for all new voices to find a home here, but I am aware of only a very few who the existing members were were unable to accommodate.

wyndhy

02-07-2005, 12:30 PM

i’d like to weigh in on this speaking as a semi-newbie. i don’t worry that that’s what other people thinkof me, that’s how i think of myself. i just started writing but i’m warning you before you go on, i might have a lot to say. :D

i have been a pixie for almost a year and i am beginning to understand the basics, nevermind the intricacies. i seem to have a eureka about something, technical or social, every week. i know i’ve said before that i stumbled onto this sight but i don’t think you know how stumble-y it really was. it’ll give you an idea when i say i was reading pixies’ stories for about 6 months before i even noticed there were buttons on the page that said things like ‘post’ let alone what they meant. i didn’t know what this place was nor had i ever haerd about anything like it. it was a surprise to me whe i saw there were conversations going on. knowing what i do now, i would have introduced myself and taken time to get to know the place. instead i jumped right in. i had no idea i was entering a house and didn’t act accordingly. i wasn’t abrasive but i didn’t even say hi. like i said…clueless.

when i joined here people were nice, but not overly so. and some people were rude….but not overly so. i wasn’t crying over it. there was, in my case, a time or two where i was called on something that someone else was not. was that a double standard or abuse of senority? i don't know, because maybe that other someone was called on it, too, but privately. i think people forget sometimes that everthing that goes on does not happens right there in balck and white for all to see. and anyway, that’s life, some people are snots. and i didn’t wish someone would come to my rescue or make sure i was being treated fairly but then again i didn’t understand that therewas even anyone out there that could or would. it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. and because that was my first understanding of pixies it is the one i still carry with me now. yes the mods are there for help and i have asked for it but i don't expect them to protect me, babysit me or spoon feed me. i am a big girl and i will sink or swim on my own and take my commuppance when it's due.

so where i’m going with this is to say that that ^^^ doesn’t give me any qualifications to comment on flaming and how pixies and other sights handle it. the only other forum i’ve seen is two brief glimpses of literotica. and i’m not even sure of it’s exact meaning. i know it’s when someone gets ganged up on but i don’t’ know when it stops being telling a jerk to get an attitude adjustment and starts being flaming. but as a member of pixies who likes it here and cares about it and checks out the discussions about a hundred times more than she checks out the pictures, i’d like to say how i see it. i am unqualified in the extreme but i am continuing on because you asked and i know that you genuinely want everyone who wants to speak do so. and that, i think, is a good example of how welcoming pixies is already.

unfortunately, i don’t think you can make new people feel more welcome, lil. besides just being nice yourself (which you are) and setting the example and putting things back on track when they go astray (which you do), you can’t force the issue. in fact, maybe thats what this thread is about ina way, too: a reminder of sorts.

i really do think letting people have their say is allowed at pixies. show me one time where a mod said you’re not allowed to have that opinion and i’ll retract that statement. snotty and nasty are different and we can all tell the difference. if you wanna be a snot go ahead but don’t come crying if you find yourself suddenly on the defensive. and if someone wants to be rude they shouldn’t complain when someone else calls them on it--just as you are allowed to speak your mind, so am i. dealing with sheer nastiness is is just one of the ways the mods keep pixies friendly; if you’re nasty it’s not long before you are shown the door. it’s a shame that people don’t post more interesting discussions on occasion. i am another one that would love a spirited debate on (insert interesting controversial topic here) but then again, i would never turn something like that pesonal. some do and that ruins it for all. if having controversial discussions ruins the site it’s frankly not worth the trade off. c’est la vie

and i’m just hypothesizing here (apropos how some have said that they feel the mods weren't as interfering in the past) but it could be that because of the sensitivity to it and the troubles it’s caused in the past, that the lines between meanie and snot are getting blurred. perhaps an avoid-at-all-costs approach has crept in here, prematurely quashing anything that has the distant scent of nasty. which in turn has promted members to become more sensitive to it as well. pixies has been evolving for some time now and it will continue to do so. i can tell you that the the way the mod's have reacted to nastiness has been consistent and fair since i joined but on occasion i do go back through the much earlier threads (this, as newbie-to-newbie advice, is a neat and often touching or funny way to get to know people who have been around awhile) and it does seem to me people got away with a bit more than they do now, but not a whole lot. then again i would never know any private communtications in either case. either way, you are the ones who make the judgement calls now that will maintain the level of integrity the owners want. you gotta call em as you see em and in no way do i think this should be democratic. i do not envy you in the least. you’re almost always going to upset someone. i can practically feel how frustrating this would be.

this isn’t a party, lil, where you are the hostess and need to personally make certain everyone knows where the potty is and has someone to talk to. it’s a house. a huge, rambling, old many-corridored mansion where people communicate through post-it notes stuck on the walls. you’ve put up signs, you’ve categorize the site so people can find what they are looking for. you are welcoming and friendly and helpful and that is enough, more than enough. but actually trying to find a place where every pixie can fit it? you can break the forums down into even more specific categories i guess and put stickies in every one telling any who cares to read them about the expectations, philosophy and rules but i don’t think it’s possible to make sure everyone is happy here. i love that you even want to try, though. (((((((hugs))))))) it says volumes about the kind of person you are.

WildIrish

02-07-2005, 01:11 PM

What the hell, bibi? I had a great hijack opportunity and you deleted your post! :D

BIBI

02-07-2005, 03:29 PM

What the hell, bibi? I had a great hijack opportunity and you deleted your post! :D

LMAO...don't you think it was a wise move? ;)

Lilith

02-07-2005, 05:21 PM

More interesting reads....I appreciate everyone who has made an effort to voice their views.

Some clarifications, since some people seem confused. The only topics that are not permitted here are those regarding minors (which includes discussions about your own experiences as a minor), and bestiality. In the past, myself or moderators have pulled or edited threads where people quit debating the subject and begain to be rude and disrespectful to others in the thread. This is usually only after my attempts through PMs to curb their attitude has failed. When this occurs, I do not need everyone to view the posts and give me their opinion before I act in what I believe to be the best interest of the site and it's members.

Most long term members have seen how controversial threads play out. It's consistently the same....view one, view two, view one with support, view two with support, view one with support, view two with support, view one with support, view two with support, view three, view one with support, view two with support, view three with support, view one with support, view two with support, view three hurling insults cause they came into the whole thing with no real support, view one and view two get steamed, view three hurls more insults, view one with support, view two hurls some back............. after about the 3rd page of it , everyone else feels pissed and the spectators are stressed. So it's come down to where, as many have expressed that they prefer not to have them started because they come here to escape from all the pressures of their lives and don't like to have to wade through them here. So the topic has been hashed over and everyone has their views.

People are free to talk about whatever floats their boat. While we are a moderated forum we do not remove threads unless there is something about them that violates our site's policies whether it be the written ones or the ones Kim set down for me to follow. If people want to discuss and debate that's great, however they need to be prepared for view three who does not know how to support his/her opinion without slamming someone else or bickering. And they should expect that when that occurs a moderator will step in.

As for being able to avoid threads if properly labeled.....well that would be great but people will not do that and we really can't expect that in an open forum with nearly 20,000 members.

I love the people here. They are the funniest, warmest, wittiest, people I could ever hope to encounter in one place and I just try to do my best to keep the place welcoming.

Scarecrow

02-07-2005, 06:05 PM

I love the people here. They are the funniest, warmest, wittiest, people I could ever hope to encounter in one place and I just try to do my best to keep the place welcoming.

Ah geees Lilith :lurv:

If I only had a brain :dance:

MilkToast

02-07-2005, 06:37 PM

re:I've never quite understood the concept of why political or other contorversial yet intellectual topics were taboo or become heated quickly. I understand that the underlying tone of pixies-place is erotica and sexuality, but if that is all that it was intended to be, with no furhter expansion, why do we have a forum that is titled "GENERAL CHAT" with the subtitle chat about anything here ? I see plenty of threads sprinkled across the forum that are non-sex related, yes a sexual innuendo may be added to the thread, or a flirt and a tease, but the underlying tone of the thread isn't necessarily sex. These threads aren't cast aside or complained about. The only thing I see wrong with the political threads is that people are passionate at pixies-place. And oftentimes passion prevents us from being most civil to one another, as it causes us to speak straight from the heart. Would it be such a wrong thing for citizens of our world to be passionate about politics of our locale and the world? Goodness something just might change with knowledge and passion.

Well said. While I am not a fan of the political discussions I do not see why they should not be allowed in the "general" section if people can be civil.

-Toast

It's consistently the same....view one, view two, view one with support, view two with support, view one with support, view two with support, view one...I'll be choosing view 42 to support... when that one finally comes along...

Sharni

02-07-2005, 07:03 PM

re:
Well said. While I am not a fan of the political discussions I do not see why they should not be allowed in the "general" section if people can be civil.
*LOL*...didja read Liliths post at all?? Just curious :D

MilkToast

02-07-2005, 07:43 PM

*LOL*...didja read Liliths post at all?? Just curious :D

Yes I did :D and I guess I was more attempting to support the notion that we are able to have all kinds of posts here and that I would not like it if that changed.

However, since this is not view #42 I can not say that this reply is to support my original post. I need to wait before I pipe up again.

Lilith

02-07-2005, 07:45 PM

What if we skip view 42 and go directly to 43???? Milktoast, what will you support then???? these???? :boobs:

MilkToast

02-07-2005, 07:53 PM

Nothing!!! I tells ya... nuthin... I'll just go find some soap box to tear out from under somebody and go play all by myself in the corner :bang:

Lilith

02-07-2005, 07:54 PM

there is a quiet cozy corner in the dungeon I could chain ya to ;)

jseal

02-07-2005, 07:55 PM

Gentlefolk,

Please consider what a member (now quiet) once said in a similar thread:

Surely there is something else more imprtant in life to ponder over. This place is great and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

Let us not let a discussion about welcoming new members become one about who should say what to whom.

cowgirltease

02-08-2005, 05:55 AM

Pardon my rude interruption, as I'm not osuche, but felt compelled to throw in a response...

I've never quite understood the concept of why political or other contorversial yet intellectual topics were taboo or become heated quickly. I understand that the underlying tone of pixies-place is erotica and sexuality, but if that is all that it was intended to be, with no furhter expansion, why do we have a forum that is titled "GENERAL CHAT" with the subtitle chat about anything here ? I see plenty of threads sprinkled across the forum that are non-sex related, yes a sexual innuendo may be added to the thread, or a flirt and a tease, but the underlying tone of the thread isn't necessarily sex. These threads aren't cast aside or complained about. The only thing I see wrong with the political threads is that people are passionate at pixies-place. And oftentimes passion prevents us from being most civil to one another, as it causes us to speak straight from the heart. Would it be such a wrong thing for citizens of our world to be passionate about politics of our locale and the world? Goodness something just might change with knowledge and passion.

Now maybe I'm out of line here, and if so, I'm confident someone will let me know. I understand that there are political forums that I could go to and have discussions until the end of time, but perhaps I just enjoy the company of pixies-place more and I enjoy listening/reading the ideas of these sexy people. I can't help but agree that if someone is offended by a topic or feels the needs to scream at the top of their lungs because of the contents that they could just as easily avoid the thread as they could scream. We are all adults and capable of making choices.

I personally, don't take enough time to become as educated as I could about politics within my country or globally, and thus am not quick to respond to the threads, but to the point that an intellectual and informative discussion is being had, I enjoy reading and learning it from my pixies rather than some drone of a news reporter.

Those are my :cents: , and I don't expect to be agreed with universally but hope that my thoughts also aren't offending to anyone as that certainly isn't my intent.

:rant:
You're pardoned. And thank you for responding. Maddy I don't call quotes like these passionate.
Political threads could be very informative and educational if we didn't have to deal with quotes like these!

My perspective is 22 years in the military and a vietnam vet. I'm with Nikki on this too. Kerry is a lying, self-serving traitor. At least Jane Fonda appologized, Kerry never did.

Second reason is another 4 more years of WARS. :jedi2: :jedi2: I hate to see more innocent people die. There is no peace when Bush is still there. :jedi2: :jedi2:

But my man said if Ketchup man win, may be it isn't that good for China since the ketchup man wants to cut back those job opportunities that sent to China.
My heart go out to those innocent people was dead during these 4 years of Bush
But the down side is Bush has no concept of foriegn policy. If he got a fortune cookie that said "There will be a major conflict in your life soon", he'd probably go to war. Not to mention, he's also a puppet of Zionists in the US gov't.

And I'm not too sure about Kerry either, given that he's always changing his mind. He said he'll "preserve peace" across the Taiwan strait. In America, "preserve peace" often means go to war,
There are no doubt some people are smirking at the Bush win,but it is the rest of us and the rest of the world who was counting on Bush and company to lose the election who are the real loosers.

I'm worried about EVERYTHING now that America has made the mistake...again...

In Britain all we can do is try to vote for a leader who won't behave like America's lap dog in the next General Election, rather than the spineless deceiver who currently asks 'How high?' when America says 'Jump'. If however, Tony Blair remains in power, we too, have another 4 years of George Bush's rule.

This isn't creative criticism, its mudslinging, name calling, whatever you wanna call it. We can HAVE a discussion without all of this type of talk people.(and that was off of just 2 threads).
If people will act more mature when they post so will I. :)

Mackenzie

02-08-2005, 06:02 PM

Cheyanne

02-08-2005, 07:48 PM

If you don't care for political discussions, then why read the thread? It is kinda like if you don't like a program on TV - don't you change the channel?

I remember when Agua and I got into a discussion about guns and gun control... we are pretty much at oposite ends of the spectrum and the disucssion NEVER got heated only because we understood that each had the right to their opinion.

I believe what osuche was trying to say is that there is room for political discussion or discussion of topics that could become heated as long as those contributing to the thread understand that other peeps may have a different view. In addition, peeps need to understand and be prepared that sometimes certain topics will probably flare up others emotions.

jseal

02-08-2005, 09:28 PM

cowgirltease & Mackenzie,

I trust you won’t take offense, but I disagree with you. I have learned quite a bit from the controversial discussions here at Pixies, and I feel I am the better for them. Further, political threads need not degenerate into ugliness. Permit me to provide two examples of what I suggest were “good” political threads. The first was A Pride Regained (http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?t=21566&page=1&pp=15) started by lakritze on August 10 of last year, and the other was Aussies join the lie fest (http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?t=21923&page=1&pp=15) started by Grumble on October 2.

In the “A Pride Regained” thread I learned quite a bit about the Australian government while researching my replies, that voting is compulsory in both Australia & Brazil (I think that PantyFanatic learned that then also), and a whole bunch about the American Electoral College. I also learned that there seems to be a bit of tension among the Australian electorate in re their relationship to the Queen.

Now I will grant you that not all the comments in that thread were called for, but there was no flaming or mud-slinging. The debate could reasonably be described as “spirited”, rather than “nasty”. Sharni & Irish agreed about something, and miracle of miracles, so did lakritze and I!

In the “Aussies join the lie fest” thread I (re)discovered the substantial ANZAC involvement in the Galipoli campaign while researching my replies, something of Australia’s involvement In World Wars I & II, and how close WWII is to some of the Pixies from Oz. Belial allowed as how he had changed his opinion.

I could only find one post in the entire thread which I would consider coarse or antagonistic.

cowgirltease, I admit that the quotes you posted are regrettably antagonistic and I too wish that people would hesitate before posting what may upset others. Still, I would rather not suppress open exchange of honest opinions – particularly as it can be done in a civilized manner.

I am sure that there are alternatives which do not require segregating political discourse into yet another sub-forum with the inevitable moving of threads out of their original forums because they became "too political" or "too controversial".