Irish
02-12-2004, 05:47 PM
Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"
>
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
>these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the
>next thing that comes out of it's butt."
>
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
>to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a
>horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
>
>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why
>can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>Why does your Obstetrician/Gynecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed if he is going to look up there anyway?
>
>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
>dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
>
>If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner show had enough money to buy all that
>ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and
> >vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
>Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
>
>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
>tune?
>
>Stop singing and read on . . . .
>
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
>it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your a--?
>
>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
>but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
>
>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
>these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the
>next thing that comes out of it's butt."
>
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
>to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a
>horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
>
>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why
>can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>Why does your Obstetrician/Gynecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed if he is going to look up there anyway?
>
>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
>dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
>
>If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner show had enough money to buy all that
>ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and
> >vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
>Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
>
>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
>tune?
>
>Stop singing and read on . . . .
>
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
>it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your a--?
>
>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
>but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
>
>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?