skipthisone
05-22-2003, 08:24 AM
This is going to be the 1st of many "helpful hints" from Skip. These are not "sex news" per se, but are articles I have found that are sexually related about new ideas or improvement of sex...Enjoy.
Josey Vogels (MyMessyBedroom.com)
At age 50, "Levity" describes masturbation as her "sanity saver."
"I was married for 20 years and divorced eight years ago," the mother of two teenage daughters tells me over the phone. "Back in the dating scene, I find that the more I masturbate and take care of myself, the less vulnerable I am to making bad choices in dating. When I'm tempted to do something that might be unsafe, I stop and think, 'You know what, I can probably love myself better than he can.'"
As long as there's a turkey baster.
"How do I put this?" Levity tries to explain. "My orgasms are clit-oriented and I like suction but they don't make many toys for women that use suction. I discovered the plastic bulb at the end of a turkey baster does the trick."
Snakebite kits work, too, she adds. "I was helping my ex pack for a camping trip once and, um, 'discovered' this thing," she laughs. "I sent him camping without it."
Now living on a boat off the West Coast, it seems somehow appropriate that Levity's introduction to masturbation was water-related.
"When I was about 8 or 9, my older sister showed me that if you run the water in the bathtub warm and not real hard, it feels really good and something special happens," Levity says. "I ran the water heater empty."
Sadly, there's no bathtub on her boat, but Levity does okay. "I masturbate daily," she says.
So much for the idea that women don't like to masturbate as much as men.
In celebration of May as Masturbation Month, then, I thought I'd share a few thoughts from women who are eager to, er, come out of the masturbation closet and pass on their wanking wisdom to their kids.
"It's about time," says Sandra, who's 42 and also the mother of two teenage daughters. She was livid when her eldest came to her in tears at age 15 (she's now 18) and said, "I masturbated and I liked it and I know I'm going to hell because Grandma told me if I ever did that I'd burn up."
"Growing up, we were a proper English family and didn't talk about those things," says Sandra. "As a result, I was adamant about being open with my own kids about it. Now, if I could only get my eldest to quit using the showerhead until the hot water runs out."
Like mother, like daughter. Sandra's earliest masturbation efforts were also in the bath. Sandra still enjoys her Waterpik but has since discovered Dr. Scholl's foot massager.
While Sandra has a very active and satisfying sex life with her husband, she says solo sex feeds a different part of her.
"I'm into domination and exhibition fantasies and my husband has no interest, so I can take my fantasies and have a great time on my own," she laughs.
Sandra wishes more women would do the same.
"I live in suburbia and I see these women running through the grocery stores just grinding their teeth - you can just tell they're sexually frustrated - and I think, 'Come here, honey, I have a toy for you.'"
Just be careful if you're pregnant.
"Jean," a 51-year-old writer from Saskatchewan induced labour by masturbating when she was pregnant with her daughter back in 1977. "I'm not sure why I was suddenly so horny at the time," she laughs.
Forty-year-old Marguerite's earliest masturbatory memories were, you guessed it, in the tub with her sister. "She would repeatedly tattle on me for 'playing with my bottom,'" says the mother of two teenagers. "Apparently my mother's admonishments about touching my genitals didn't stop me, though, because I remember 'Don't play with your bottom' as a repeated refrain at bath time throughout my early years."
Not surprisingly, one of Marguerite's favourite ways to masturbate as an adult is in the shower, using conditioner as a lube. "Pantene works best -- try it sometime!" she laughs.
Unfortunately, Marguerite's husband isn't quite as enthusiastic about her self-pleasuring.
"He's uncomfortable with it, so I tend to do it secretly, when I'm alone in the house or by cloistering myself in the bathroom," she admits.
But instead of feeling shame or guilt, Marguerite has come to see her self-love as "something I do by myself, for myself, to nurture my overall sense of well-being. As an adult, I am responsible for my happiness, and masturbation is part of that."
It's a message she tries to pass along to her kids.
"I've told my daughter that her body is hers, and she has every right to touch herself in whatever way gives her pleasure," says Marguerite. "We did talk about privacy, but that was never an issue with her, as she's private by nature. My son, on the other hand, was born an exhibitionist, so I had to invest a little more time making him aware of some social realities!"
Speaking of boys, it's generally assumed that guys have a much less complicated relationship with masturbation: They're expected to masturbate from an early age, and to do it all the time. (And given the equipment, how they do it is also assumed to be pretty straightforward.) But then I read a story about a guy who masturbated by putting lotion on his penis and jerking off into empty toilet paper rolls and I thought, hey, it's not always so easy for the guys either. I wanna hear about it. Guys, tell me how you first started masturbating, your feelings about it, any unusual techniques you've used over the years, and any embarrassing or memorable masturbation stories.
Josey Vogels (MyMessyBedroom.com)
At age 50, "Levity" describes masturbation as her "sanity saver."
"I was married for 20 years and divorced eight years ago," the mother of two teenage daughters tells me over the phone. "Back in the dating scene, I find that the more I masturbate and take care of myself, the less vulnerable I am to making bad choices in dating. When I'm tempted to do something that might be unsafe, I stop and think, 'You know what, I can probably love myself better than he can.'"
As long as there's a turkey baster.
"How do I put this?" Levity tries to explain. "My orgasms are clit-oriented and I like suction but they don't make many toys for women that use suction. I discovered the plastic bulb at the end of a turkey baster does the trick."
Snakebite kits work, too, she adds. "I was helping my ex pack for a camping trip once and, um, 'discovered' this thing," she laughs. "I sent him camping without it."
Now living on a boat off the West Coast, it seems somehow appropriate that Levity's introduction to masturbation was water-related.
"When I was about 8 or 9, my older sister showed me that if you run the water in the bathtub warm and not real hard, it feels really good and something special happens," Levity says. "I ran the water heater empty."
Sadly, there's no bathtub on her boat, but Levity does okay. "I masturbate daily," she says.
So much for the idea that women don't like to masturbate as much as men.
In celebration of May as Masturbation Month, then, I thought I'd share a few thoughts from women who are eager to, er, come out of the masturbation closet and pass on their wanking wisdom to their kids.
"It's about time," says Sandra, who's 42 and also the mother of two teenage daughters. She was livid when her eldest came to her in tears at age 15 (she's now 18) and said, "I masturbated and I liked it and I know I'm going to hell because Grandma told me if I ever did that I'd burn up."
"Growing up, we were a proper English family and didn't talk about those things," says Sandra. "As a result, I was adamant about being open with my own kids about it. Now, if I could only get my eldest to quit using the showerhead until the hot water runs out."
Like mother, like daughter. Sandra's earliest masturbation efforts were also in the bath. Sandra still enjoys her Waterpik but has since discovered Dr. Scholl's foot massager.
While Sandra has a very active and satisfying sex life with her husband, she says solo sex feeds a different part of her.
"I'm into domination and exhibition fantasies and my husband has no interest, so I can take my fantasies and have a great time on my own," she laughs.
Sandra wishes more women would do the same.
"I live in suburbia and I see these women running through the grocery stores just grinding their teeth - you can just tell they're sexually frustrated - and I think, 'Come here, honey, I have a toy for you.'"
Just be careful if you're pregnant.
"Jean," a 51-year-old writer from Saskatchewan induced labour by masturbating when she was pregnant with her daughter back in 1977. "I'm not sure why I was suddenly so horny at the time," she laughs.
Forty-year-old Marguerite's earliest masturbatory memories were, you guessed it, in the tub with her sister. "She would repeatedly tattle on me for 'playing with my bottom,'" says the mother of two teenagers. "Apparently my mother's admonishments about touching my genitals didn't stop me, though, because I remember 'Don't play with your bottom' as a repeated refrain at bath time throughout my early years."
Not surprisingly, one of Marguerite's favourite ways to masturbate as an adult is in the shower, using conditioner as a lube. "Pantene works best -- try it sometime!" she laughs.
Unfortunately, Marguerite's husband isn't quite as enthusiastic about her self-pleasuring.
"He's uncomfortable with it, so I tend to do it secretly, when I'm alone in the house or by cloistering myself in the bathroom," she admits.
But instead of feeling shame or guilt, Marguerite has come to see her self-love as "something I do by myself, for myself, to nurture my overall sense of well-being. As an adult, I am responsible for my happiness, and masturbation is part of that."
It's a message she tries to pass along to her kids.
"I've told my daughter that her body is hers, and she has every right to touch herself in whatever way gives her pleasure," says Marguerite. "We did talk about privacy, but that was never an issue with her, as she's private by nature. My son, on the other hand, was born an exhibitionist, so I had to invest a little more time making him aware of some social realities!"
Speaking of boys, it's generally assumed that guys have a much less complicated relationship with masturbation: They're expected to masturbate from an early age, and to do it all the time. (And given the equipment, how they do it is also assumed to be pretty straightforward.) But then I read a story about a guy who masturbated by putting lotion on his penis and jerking off into empty toilet paper rolls and I thought, hey, it's not always so easy for the guys either. I wanna hear about it. Guys, tell me how you first started masturbating, your feelings about it, any unusual techniques you've used over the years, and any embarrassing or memorable masturbation stories.